Do you ever get over divorce.

[maggie01]

I have been divorced for 2 1/2 yrs now after being married for 40yrs.
It would have been my wedding anniversary tomorrow. 43yrs.
I try every day to move forward and not dwell on it too much but the hurt doesn't go away
I will try to keep busy tomorrow but I can't stop myself from thinking about it and wondering whether he will remember, though there is no reason why he should seeing it was him that wanted out of the marriage.
Does the hurt ever go away

[ummmm]

That's a long time and a huge chunk of your life. I've never been married and I haven't even lived for 40 years....so I can't imagine what you've been through.

[mccfluff]

ditto -- ummm

i'm not sure if it will ever go away completly but hopefully will get easier as time goes on

hope you get through tomorrow ok, post on here someone will make you laugh! x

[ummmm]

Yeah....we'll cheer you up :-)

[funnygirl]

That is a long time to have been married.

I am really sorry to hear of your problem and nothing there's nothing I can say without sounding cliche. But I am sure time is a great healer.

[wendilla]

Hi Maggie long time no see. I remember you from the good advice you gave me about my x at daughters wedding I cannot help you in your situation but it might be best if you moved on. I know it must be difficult for you. My divorce never involved anyone else.. I was divorced 20 years ago and didn't have much to do with my x but only for sake of my children . We are better friends now but that is all as I come in contact with him more often to do with my children .Don't sit at home tomorrow get a friend and go out for the day .

[Bbbananas]

Hi Maggie - maybe you should read the thread I posted yesterday on Modern Marriage or a Damn Shame?!

I am not actually divorced from my second husband (yet). But we have been separated over 4 years and I have moved on to another solid relationship. I met my ex at the weekend & we reminisced, cried, talked and I have been feeling very sad ever since. I don't want him back, our marriage is over and divorce will ensue at some point - though it will have to be instigated by me cos he says he will never ever divorce me & I believe him.
It still hurts. I still have much affection for him and nostalgia for the relationship we once had, and much regret at how spectacularly it went wrong.
He may well turn out to have been the big love of my life - and I know I will love him til I die, no matter who else I am with, or even married to.

[Bbbananas]

Having said that Maggie - I divorced my first husband willingly quickly and without remorse. He proved himself to be as crap a dad as he ever was a husband and I barely give him a second thought. I got over it very quickly & to be honest, if he died tomorrow I would shed not a tear. :-(

[maggie01]

Hi Wendilla. That seems such a long time ago now. My daughter has been married 3yrs.My ex and I have been friendly up till Feb this year. I lost my dog and everything got on top of me and I decided it was time to move on.

He is going on holiday tomorrow so our paths aren't likely to cross.

Although this is the 3rd anniversary since he left, it is the first one we haven't really had much to do with each other.

I am sure it will pass and soon be just another day.

hope you are keeping well.

[tastymorsel]

Salla
You have just described a mirror image of my marriages.I can't see the pain going away but it does become"different"if you can understand that.I find that I am experiencing it on another level and although I will never stop loving my husband(nor do I want to)I am moving on with my life.I wish he would move away and I would never have to see him again but that is never going to happen so I have to grit my teeth and get on with it.

[Bbbananas]

|In our case tasty, I think it will be I who moves away eventually. Our contact will dwindle to texts and the odd card. Oh, and the children's weddings, christenings etc. And the odd funeral I suppose. Probably the best thing.

You're right - love & hurt doesn't always go away - it just becomes 'different'.

[craft1948]

I think it takes a couple of years to get over a marriage, and a couple of years to enjoy being single....

[Bbbananas]

I took me two months to enjoy being single ;-)
(Still enjoying it......)

[craft1948]

salla you're just so shallow :-)

[Bbbananas]

I have my deep moments too, given half the chance ;-)

[craft1948]

behave salla I quivered then.....

[Bbbananas]

Deja vu craft?
Memories?
Or just borborygmi? (google it.....)

[tastymorsel]

I was married for 30yrs and it almost a year since it all blew apart.I am thoroughly enjoying being single and cannot imagine myself in a committed relationship again.I go out now more than I ever did and it is still strange not having to consider another persons feelings.Having said that I could never live with my husband again but I do grieve for what we had together for so many years.It seems such a waste of our lives to end up like this.The memories are incalculable but you need to make new ones that you can smile at without them involving him.I won't go anywhere that I have been with him just yet but maybe in time I may be able to.

[craft1948]

memories sigh......not the gassy thing.

[Bbbananas]

Bloody good work though, isn't it - Borborygmi.
It's one of my favourites - along with Buckfummad.

Tasty - I know what you mean. I could never go to Jamaica with anyone else again. Ever. Well, maybe for my 50th if the boyfriend suggested it ;-)

[tastymorsel]

Oh God yes,had forgottenthat one.Duvet pulled up over head because "silent but deadly" was so good it had to be shared.Yuk !!!