Does age matter in a relationship?

[dennis4fozzie]

Does age really matter in a relationship? My partner is 24 years older than me and we have been together for 2 years now and going very well. He doesn't look his age... he looks younger than he is and i look older than i am and when seen together we don't look like there is a huge difference in age.Do people really think age is an issue? And how do other people in relationships with big age gaps cope with the hassle from people?

[Prudie]

Sqad "It can work................but usually hot" LOL

[joko]

my boyfriend is 11 yrs younger than me (27 &38) and there has been some issues because of it...not from other people ( i look almost the same age as him) but from us...sometimes his lack of experience in life an with girlfriends shows an has caused problems...and also because i suppose i just expect things a certain way because of my experience...but he cannot learn and experience things he sinply hasnt done yet...

even in small ways it shows such as watching tv shows about the paranormal etc...he likes them and watches them with new eyes and everything is new to him...ive seen the same old shows and info many times so im not that interested or a sceptic etc...

if others had issues i coudlnt care less

[dennis4fozzie]

Yes i can see where you are coming from but we dont have issues really.. not at all.. and im not just saying that... im happy how things are.... thanks :)

[KARL]

I know a lady who in her late twenties married a widower (she had also known his wife) 42 years older than she was. They lived together some 16-18 years at which point he died at an age approaching 90. For the last several years he was on the verge of being bedridden and she was the carer. We have talked about her experience and she talks of it as having been extremely testing. What is striking is that she does not speak of him with affection but more with some resentment. I have not asked if she would do it again, but something tells me the answer would be an emphatic no. It is noticeable that she now comes over as an old lady rather than aged forty or so. Her in-laws mostly disapproved and I have the impression some of that was centred on an interpretation/assumption of her trying to get an easy meal ticket. However, although I don't know for certain, I believe it was he who had the initiative and was securing himself an energetic carer in good time (he was fairly healthy initially). You give the impression of realising all about these aspects while outwardly maintaining a position of "we are in love". It is not for anyone to dictate your life, not even your chosen partner of the moment. Also, it is not really anyone's business what you decide, so long as it does not adversely affect anyone else. Oh, the woman I was describing lost nearly all her friends of her age and she and her husband moved in circles of the elderly/aged.

[boxtops]

I don't think it matters at all, there are 14 years difference between me and OH, he says age is just a number - a bit trite but it's all about outlook and recognising that you view things differently. I recognise very well what joko describes - we're older than that, but it still applies.

[dennis4fozzie]

Thats sad to hear... but my gap isnt as big..... i didnt loose friends... mine know me enough to know that i am happy and they accept that... yes one day i will be left on my own.. or i may go before him.. but we got so much more time... i intend to enjoy it all :)

[AdriSco]

My second husband is 20 years older than me. We are extremely happy. One thing I know for sure is that had I ended things because of the age gap, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. Be happy now. The future will take care of itself.
Ignore other people - they really don't matter dennis4fozzie1

[carlton23]

Funny you should ask this question, as yesterday was our 44th wedding anniversary and I am 14 years older than my wife and we are still very much in love with each other, so ignore what people think and have a happy loving life together.

[Goodsoulette]

I think it does matter if you want to be equal. Chances are you will end up caring for him and watching him get old, that could happen anyways. I know for me that I dont want to watch my partner grow old, I want to grow old together. The how you look isn't the issue really, is it.

[dennis4fozzie]

Its not though, not to me.. i love him and will do whatever to be with him.... if it means looking after him then fine... he is worth the time he's worth all my time.. and thank you for the possitives people :)

[juandelacruz]

Lots of good guidance here. When you are 45 he will be 69. As a woman, you will be at the very peak of your sexual vigour - he will be lucky if he isn't finding it hard to keep up. As long as you know this and don't mock him or look for a bit on the side, it should be tolerable. Age gaps are a problem in England, where there is an obsession with equal ages, unknown in East Asia for instance. You may get "is that your husband or your father?"

[dennis4fozzie]

I would never mock him or cheat on him.. ever... love him way too much :)
<3

[boxtops]

I'm 14 years older than OH, we have differences but we have learned to accommodate them.

[dennis4fozzie]

Good to hear :) xx

[sara3]

if my 16 yr old daughter brought home a 40 yr old man, there would be serious issues.

[boxtops]

Sara - I think it also depends on the age when the couple meet - OH and I were both (allegedly) mature - I agree, people in their teens are probably not ready for a big age gap.

[dennis4fozzie]

I can imagine there would be but each to there own isnt it. My family arent too bad now... at the start they were which is understandable however they are fine now... :)

[dennis4fozzie]

i was 19 at the time we met and things are still as great if not better than then :)