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Like a girl. She doesn't like me back. Can't get over her. What to do?

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codemister | 03:35 Sat 08th Jan 2011 | Relationships & Dating
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There is a girl I like alot. I'm in 9th grade. I've only had about 2 relationships in my life. I've told her how much I like her and she was okay with it but she also said that she doesn't feel the same way about me. She likes a guy in 12th grade. I don't have really good looks. I don't really have any athletic abilities. I am not all too impressive. The only thing I have is my personality. I want to get over her but i've tried before and I can't. I've liked her for 4 years. She is the only person in the world that makes me happy. Also, not like I can move on anyways as no other girls in my school likes me either. :( Kinda stuck. I have no idea what to do now. I had hopes and dreams but all were crushed when she told me she didn't feel the same way. I now have severe depression. I can barely get around any more. My self-confidence is gone. I am falling into a hole i'm afraid i can never get out of. She is the only girl i've ever felt this way about. I need somebody to tell me how to deal with this sort of situation.
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she obviously doesn't know what she is missing, you seem a great guy, being able to kick a ball around or do push ups is not what life's about. If that other person sucks at conversation, and emotional chit chat, personality, that's what you have in buckets!

Chances are he won't want to go out with her because it will effect 'his all important world' one where...
04:21 Sat 08th Jan 2011
Give the girl a break. Leave her alone and go and find somebody else to annoy. With that attitude you have no chance with any of them if you are going to say they are all sluts.
I think most adults like me recognise the experiences and emotions you are going through Codemaster. I certainly recognise the depression part. I'm not sure how old a 9th Grader is but I'm guessing you must be 14 or 15. You see those over-confident lads who always seem to get the girls and you feel left out and wish you could be the same.

I'm 48 now so I'm looking back quite a way. I think most older people will tell you that all these teenage crushes and fancies are fleeting and momentary. Teenagers are still trying to blindly feel their way in a world which they are too young to understand and that's painful. As you get older (into your late teens and 20s) you realise there's far more to life than who fancies who. You develop different interests, pastimes, sports and other activities. Then you start mixing with people who are more like you. You will then suddenly meet a girl who you realise is completely different to all the others and she will feel the same about you. Rather than having a brief 'relationship' before moving on you'll know that person is special and your relationship will develop and become deeper over a period of time. That's when you experience love for the first time and you'll both be fine from then on. That doesn't happen for everyone of course, but it does for most.

You know this girl at school doesn't feel the same way for you and she probably has no interest in you at all. That hurts and there's no way around that. You probably feel quite sick about it. Don't try to force anything with anyone. Just relax and be yourself over the next 3 or 4 years and that is what that special person out there will like when you meet her. She's out there Codemaster. Be patient and you'll meet her when you least expect it. Then you'll be very happy.

Good luck!
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waterboatman I was just giving a steriotype of the girl in our school 75% of teh girls in our school ARE NOT virgins. Now tell me what you think? Of course I don't say that.
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Thank you for the advice Andyvon
it's no different over here, there's no stiff upper lip to the British any more especially the younger too many of the girls care too much about sex, and too much about getting pregnant so the British benefits system gives them hand outs, we are a system run on greed and false representations, everyone's out for what they can get and all it does it stretches the system leading to major failings in other areas which is killing our country.

The British children are far too over sexed at a early age and I think that mixed with poor general education, and therefore limited intelligence leads them the make the wrong decisions in life, and would rather seek out sex at an early age than study hard to get a good life and future,

But there are still always the true 'Eve's and Adam's' out there with the more traditional views you just have to find an Eve in a crowd of snakes, or be a good enough snake charmer to turn a snake but once a snake always a snake...they may squeeze all the life out of you and they bite too.

oww.... i went a bit too much 'garden of Eden' then lol
How do you know that ¾ of the girls are not virgins? That is a very precise number, I don't see how you can know that.

You lost all my sympathy when you made that statement slandering all American girls. That's not the way to get a date lad!

Andyvon gave you some good advice. Don't forget, they are in the same position as you. I'm not so old that I can't remember the anguish that you are going through. But that attitude will do you no favours. Thee girl you mention obviously has no interest in you whatsoever. The right one will come along, I assure you. But just bide your time, amend your attitude and in time all will be well. don't be in such a hurry to grow up lad. Aduthood ain't all it's cracked up to be all the time. Good luck lad.
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waterboatman sorry for calling American girls sluts. It's just from what i've seen as it is where I live. I didn't mean it to offend anybody. I don't go everywhere screaming she's a ***! and she does have some interest in me as she is my best friend and she shares all of her deepest darkest secrets with me that nobody else knows. She just isn't interested in me as more than a friend however.
Now I see. She is a friend. Keep it that way. you are of value to her, but do not try to coerce her into deepening the relationship. From what you say, she likes you. I'm afraid you will have to settle for that, and, believe me, that is worth a lot. she feels safe with you. That is preserving. You never know what the future holds. None of us do. cherish the friendship you have with this lucky girl.
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Thank you all for your answers. I have learned a great deal. I will wait and see what the future holds for me.
Good lad. don't try to rush it. You will be fine. good luck.
Untill You start to see less of her You will never move on and She knows that. She is keeping You to herself so She can always have someone to off load her trouble to, this is so selfish of her. She is in the same boat as you, she is waiting for this 12th grader to like her while she leans on you.
You need to break the cycle a.s.a.p.
The fact that you already know her friend proves you can talk to other girls and you said she likes you, get to know the friend more not as a girlfriend for now but as a friend. this will help your confidence and you will get to know her friends which will help your confidence more..... It will be a much better cycle to be in.
Right, you are about 15 and this is your first big love - they are always the strongest and hardest to get over. You're full of hormones just now so everything you feel is amplified. Add to that the girl is your friend so confides in you and vice versa - so you 2 are really close. Do you know for a fact she is not interested or are you just jumping to that conclusion? When I was 16 I had a really close male friend and I would have done anything to go out with him, but I was convinced he wasn't interested. It wasn't till years later he admitted he'd been in love with me all that time. Unfortunately it never worked out cos we'd been too close as friends for too long, and trying to change our relationship then ruined our friendship. If she is really not interested then make the most of what you have with her and leave it at that. Boyfriends will come and go for her, but you can always be her friend and you will be closer to her in many ways than all those boys. Meanwhile, if there is no one you are interested in then leave it for a while - you have a lot of time to find the right girl, and the right girl will be one who is interested in more that superficialities like athletic ability. She will be someone who sees the real you and falls in love with that - and that will make her someone worthy of you.
Finally, your comment about American girls being sluts and only being interested in looks - it works both ways. Have you looked at the more 'homely' girls who might not be as pretty but have much better personalities?
We have all been there, it seems like the end of the world but it isnt its the start of a new life. Join a club, get out and meet other people, believe me it works. Good luck
Spot on Karen. I wouldn't want to go through all that again.
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Following from my post, Karen's and Pinkilady's Codemister.

When you do meet Miss Right you will look back and realise that all these girls you are worrying about now are not a patch on her. When you realise how much you love her and she loves you you'll wonder why you ever bothered yourself with these ones at the moment. Just be patient because Miss Right is out there and you will meet her.
ngaww how sweet. as i read all the comments, i got a bit teary.
what the's comments were really good ones. like im gonna keep that in mind if i go through that. codemister, you sound like a really good guy, like at my school theres not much. and if she cant see that, then maybe shes not the one. tbh i agree, some americans are sluts, aswell as some New Zealanders. its fricken ridiculous.
well good luck. x
I wish codemister would come back on here, I want to know how this lads love live is going...
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I apologize arwyn. I forgot my password but i got it now. And it's not going well. Not going well at all. She's going Saturday w/ the 12th grader to um ya know "socialize" if ya get what i mean (also getting drunk and high to add to it). That really upsets me but there is absoultly nothing I can do as I am watching this unfold. I've given up on her, accepted that i'm going nowhere when it comes to girls. Kinda decided I can't date anyone. O not to mention recently learned that half the girls in the class think I am a creeper. And these are even the brainiacs of teh class. Hell, even the girl I went to homecoming with thinks i'm a creep now. Eh, I need to move to Britain. Sounds nice there.

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Like a girl. She doesn't like me back. Can't get over her. What to do?

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