pregnancy after one night stand

[dwlondon1982]

i am a 29 year old man that recently had unprotected sex after a drunken one night stand and have found out the girl is pregnant. she has decided to go through with the pregnancy deciding that i should pay for the childs upbringing, she does not work and her whole family are on benefits with no way of supporting a new child, i am in a steady relationship and do not want to be a father to this child or have anything to do with the mother. i dont expect her to abort the pregnancy but surely i cant be forced to pay for a child under these circumstances, is there any way i can avoid this legally. before i get told off, i understand that i should have used protection and that i have myself to blame, i just need a little advice.

[lotsafun]

also NOX has hit the nail on head, Start showing the mother of your child a bit of respect, she was good enough to sleep with wasnt she?

[joko]

as usual, nox has saved me a load of typing by saying almost exactly what i would have said.

of course you must pay - after proof - that its yours - what are you expecting her to do?
support the child on her own, while you just shrug and say 'but i didnt mean it'...
implying she is a bit of a 'wrong 'un' does not absolve you of your duties im afraid...and even if you are correct about her, she still deserves some assitance from you to look after YOUR child...

you are not expected to completely support the mother and child...but pay your fair half...

[sylvania]

Count yourself bloody lucky that you have the chance of being a dad.
My fiance and I would apsolutly love to be parents - but due to me having a hormone problem and him having diabetes type 1, it is very unlikly that we will ever have a child. IVF is out of the question - can't afford it. We are in our 40's and may not be able to adopt due to our ages and health condisions. It makes my blood boil knowing that some couples who desperatly want a family - can't. And those like you who don't want a family, get what WE want without even trying.

[Dee Sa]

As she had a one night stand with you, [something not to be proud of by any means] how do you know she didnt do it with others ? you will have to wait until the child is born and pay for a DNA test, it might save you thousands of pounds in the years to come if the child isnt yours.Try and find out a little bit more about the girl ask around, she might have tried the same trick before with other guys. If the whole family are on benefits she might see this pregnancy as "meal ticket", we are only hearing things from your point of view though..
As for your steady relationship I would tell your partner asap before someone else does and if she walks away you can hardly blame her.

[B00]

Won't get into the "play with fire etc etc", you already know about that one!

First- you need to establish that the baby is yours, make sure you do a paternity test ASAP.

Second- seeing as you did play with fire, etc etc, even though you might not like it, you now have to suck it up and suffer the consequences. please try to be as good a dad as you can, too many children are born unwanted and unloved and are dragged up- don't let this one become just like them.

[Sqad]

You are not the first to get a girl pregnant and you won´t be the last.........everyone makes mistakes in life including all our contributors.

Do what BOO says.....make sure it is yours.

If it isn´t...........fine.......not your problem.

If it is, then you are morally obliged to support the girl financially in bringing up the child...........but DON´t return to the mother or marry her, because of the pregnancy.

[murraymints]

oooooooops !

[Bbbananas]

Agree with Boo. This isn't the child's fault. I do have a modicum of sympathy for you london (and yes, I am a woman). One slip and you're now going to pay for it for years. No good trying to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted.... you definitely need to find out if this child is yours before you part with any money at all though.

[B00]

PS

Does the girlfriend know?

[sandyRoe]

But I thought that couldn't happen if you did it standing up.

[knowabit]

i suggest you move away and dont tell the one night stand girl where you move to!!! How does she know where you live anyway... surely if you're gonna stray you should stray a bit further away from home!! LOl!

[B00]

knowabit- im assuming your reply is a joke, if it's not, shame on you. Either way, it's in extremely bad taste.

[pink-kittens]

"do not want to be a father to this child or have anything to do with the mother"

Then you're an idiot, aren't you? Drink is obviously an issue for you so get help for your addiction

"is there any way i can avoid this legally"
No, the child cannot avoid being yours and did not ask top be conceived by stupid people ergo, after DNA testing, you pay for what you made - and so say all of us other tax payers!

[pink-kittens]

"i have a question for any ladies out there,
would you have a baby by a man you hardly know after a one night stand "

It isn't as simple as that - firstly I wouldn't have a 1 night stand and secondly I'd certainly make sure a complete drunk stranger was wearing protection if I did

[murraymints]

In any case Big Brother is watching and will ALWAYS find you via NI number... when benefit manager was always being asked for addresses from ni computer bank for tracing errant fathers !!!!

[ummmm]

Sqad - I thought you didn't approve on unmarried Mothers?

[B00]

Ya know, ive been thinking (i do it occasionally!)

Is it a man thing or what? But how could you not want to have anything to do with a child that's yours? The statement you said of "do not want to be a father to this child" is heartbreaking.

How can anyone do that?

[Sqad]

pinki


<<<<<"i have a question for any ladies out there,
would you have a baby by a man you hardly know after a one night stand " <<<

?.....It has been known to happen...;-)

ummmm

Sqad - I thought you didn't approve on unmarried Mothers?

I didnt, but AB posters have shown me the error of my ways........now I do approve of unmarried mothers......as long as I never mention the fact.

[ChuckFickens]

Actually B00, I can sympathise with that sentiment, I wouldn't really want to be the father to any child at the moment. However, I also realise that if it did happen then I would be obliged to be the father to the child and I would do the best I could.

DWL... if it's your child then you are the father in all aspects and there is nothing you can do to escape that fact.

Not judging at all BTW...there but for the grace of God, go I

[Sqad]

BOO

<<<<Is it a man thing or what? But how could you not want to have anything to do with a child that's yours? <<<<

It IS a man thing...........as opposed to being a woman thing.