pregnancy after one night stand

[dwlondon1982]

i am a 29 year old man that recently had unprotected sex after a drunken one night stand and have found out the girl is pregnant. she has decided to go through with the pregnancy deciding that i should pay for the childs upbringing, she does not work and her whole family are on benefits with no way of supporting a new child, i am in a steady relationship and do not want to be a father to this child or have anything to do with the mother. i dont expect her to abort the pregnancy but surely i cant be forced to pay for a child under these circumstances, is there any way i can avoid this legally. before i get told off, i understand that i should have used protection and that i have myself to blame, i just need a little advice.

[ummmm]

I wouldn't have a one night stand...full stop.

That's good Sqad :-)

[rowanwitch]

Get involved ...perhaps try to convince her that adoption is a good option, then everyone wins...the biological parents get their lives back hopefully lesson learned...
somehere a couple desperate for a child will have a dream made reality and the child is loved and cared for And your current partner has the chance to walk away and start again if she wants to

And in line with Boo's comments yesterday did she drop her kebab...

[murraymints]

Sqad .... it is the MAN THING... that caused all of this in the first place !!!

[B00]

lol rowan, wondered what you were on about then ;-)

is adoption a good thing anymore? I read or heard, can't remember which now, earlier that only 40 babies were adopted last year. That's a shockingly depressing figure when you consider how many babies and children are in care.

[Sqad]

<<<<<Not judging at all BTW...there but for the grace of God, go I<<<<<

I agree with Chuck and before all you women fall over your pomposities of maternal emotions and morality.......I have had one night stands with 2 women. one of which was going to get married in a week and the other one had just got back from her honeymoon.

Sugar and spice does not always apply.

[rowanwitch]

I think adoption should be more widely encouraged...I know it has its pitfalls but at least the child is given a chance of getting out of the cycle of deprivation...

[Bbbananas]

I would find abortion easier to deal with than adoption.... I'll probably get chastised for saying this.

Anyhow - this is about dwl and his real predicament. You don't seem to have a choice in the matter mate - just get proof this baby is yours, then do your best by the baby - it aint that child's fault.

[B00]

Agree sqad, i've had many one night stands in my distant and very murky past, but that wasn't what I was getting at.

You hear of fathers who seem quite happy to spawn children and walk away, I'm sure there is some, but I personally don't know any women who can and do the same once they've given birth.

[Sqad]

BOO....I know one.............MY mother.

[murraymints]

Sqad !!!! That's what you need a mother figure..... here give me your face while I spit on my hankie to wipe that bit off !!!!

[Sqad]

murray......forget the hanky.............just lick it off.

[B00]

Sorry to hear that sqad.

Still, even given that example, im sure you'll agree it's not as prevailant amongst mothers as it is fathers?

Sorry dwlondon, I've once again gone off on a tangent.

[murraymints]

ooooooo....you are awful Sqad...but...I DO like you .......

[Sqad]

BOO......yes I agree.

It hasn´t bothered me...........but I am sorry for my mother......it couldn´t have been easy for her to hand me over.

[Whoever]

If you are the legitimate father of the baby, you cannot be forced to have anything to do with the child but you can be forced by the courts to pay maintenance until the child has become an adult if you refuse to pay voluntarily. I'm afraid the repercussions of your brief three minute fling will haunt you for a very long time. if the mother of the baby is as irresponsible as you seem to be, there's a possibility that the child might not be yours, in which case I would demand a DNA test before getting involved in any financial support negotiations.

I hope your steady girlfriend dumps you. If you can't be faithful to her now before you've even made a commitment to marriage, it doesn't say much for your moral values. Next time you get drunk, keep your trousers firmly zipped up.

[silversky69]

Hi.....Same thing happened to me....so far its cost me £40000 My Son is now ten..and i havent seen him for 6 years,,,she stopped access...and i had no right to see as i was a non resident parent..and not married..i spent £4000 taking her to court for access...but was told it was up to her sayso...You are in for arough ride mate...keep her sweet ...DO NOT LET THE CSA GET INVOLVED..PAY YA £40...OR WHATEVER SHE WANTS..BUT PAY HER DIRECT DEBIT..SO YOU HAVE PROOF YA PAYING...THERE,S NO WAY OUT,...BUT FIRST...FIND OUT IF THE CHILD IS 100% YOURS...

[talia82]

Unfortunately you made a mistake that you have to deal with, Never mind you are in a relationship or that it was a one night stand through your mistakes you have made a baby which is your flesh and blood... stop moaning about money and fix up, be a man and a strong role model for your child otherwise that mistake you made could turn around to you in 20 years time and tell you about yourself, Like i said stop worrying about minor issues and face YOUR responsibilities after all the mother of your child was good enough when you decided to have unprotected sex