News1 min ago
My partner is a controller.
21 Answers
I have been in a relationship for 2 and a half years. Now we have bought a new house together even though I wanted to wait, I loved my old house. We agreed we'd wait 3 years to buy somewhere, but then he persuaded me to consider moving within 6 months. Then it was 'after new year', then it was before 'Christmas' . We eventually moved within 9 months. I had lived in that house for 24 years, but after he moved in he took over, completely redecorating, buying new furniture etc. He did ask my opinions, but he persuaded me otherwise if they weren't the same as his. The new house is beautiful, but we couldn't agree on anything - kitchen worktops, places to put furniture, pictures etc. In fact, all the pictures in the new house are all his old ones, mine were gradually got rid of, because they were tasteless. If I put something somewhere he moves it, saying it looks stupid there. We have been on two holidays, both where he decided to go and have another in the pipeline, where he wants to go. He watches tv all the time , and if I come over for a cuddle (not often nowadays) he will look past me or round me because he can't bear to miss any of the programme. Conversation is non existant when the tv is on.
He loses the temper when he's driving, and flashes angrily at someone who he thinks is wrong, not just once or twice, but he will flash his lights approximately 12 times at a driver. When I told him how that made me feel he tells me to let him deal with it, and I still haven't learned when to shut up. I have no say in anything domestic, I have just learned not to. I don't play music any more, I used to do that all the time. Partly it's because the tv is on all the time, partly it's because I have just forgotten that I used to do that. I cry a lot, and right now he's ignoring me, this is the 4th day now. Because I made a mistake when I agreed to drive us home one day. I have no self esteem left. I want to help him, he had a terrible childhood.
He loses the temper when he's driving, and flashes angrily at someone who he thinks is wrong, not just once or twice, but he will flash his lights approximately 12 times at a driver. When I told him how that made me feel he tells me to let him deal with it, and I still haven't learned when to shut up. I have no say in anything domestic, I have just learned not to. I don't play music any more, I used to do that all the time. Partly it's because the tv is on all the time, partly it's because I have just forgotten that I used to do that. I cry a lot, and right now he's ignoring me, this is the 4th day now. Because I made a mistake when I agreed to drive us home one day. I have no self esteem left. I want to help him, he had a terrible childhood.
Answers
Your partner may have had a terible childhood - but that does not escuse him becoming a terrible adult.
08:56 Wed 26th Jan 2011
