Food & Drink0 min ago
Advice needed please
56 Answers
I was at my friends house the other night and briefly met his flatmate before she went out. A group of us then went out and got quite drunk and later went back to his. She arrived home an hour later, barged into the bathroom and caught me doing a few lines of coke. she said she was sorry and quickly shut the door. i then went back into the lounge (where she was now sitting with my friends) and carried on drinking. it was pretty awkward but i spoke to her later on and she said she wouldnt say anything to my friend, who is VERY anti drugs and would probably never speak to me again.
later on, they were talking about a man, though only referred to him by his first name. I piped up "is that so-and-so" and she said it was and asked if i knew him. i said i did and she asked why i'd said that with a smile on my face. i replied that i knew him "very well indeed" and that i'd had a fling with him. she then told me he was her boyfriend!!! i tried to back peddle and said it was about 6 years ago and wasn't anything serious as i was married, so it was an affair. she then said they'd been together for over 13 years and became quite hostile towards me.
my friend said we should leave it and talk about it in the morning but i ended up falling asleep in his room (nothing happened!) i saw her in the morning when i left and tried to apologise, but she just blanked me. i then discovered later on that she's added my husband as a friend on facebook, even though he says he doesnt know her.
i'm now really worried that she is going to a, tell my husband where i was all night and b, tell my friend i was snorting coke in his bathroom. i dont know what to do for the best, try and speak to her or just avoid her altogether?
later on, they were talking about a man, though only referred to him by his first name. I piped up "is that so-and-so" and she said it was and asked if i knew him. i said i did and she asked why i'd said that with a smile on my face. i replied that i knew him "very well indeed" and that i'd had a fling with him. she then told me he was her boyfriend!!! i tried to back peddle and said it was about 6 years ago and wasn't anything serious as i was married, so it was an affair. she then said they'd been together for over 13 years and became quite hostile towards me.
my friend said we should leave it and talk about it in the morning but i ended up falling asleep in his room (nothing happened!) i saw her in the morning when i left and tried to apologise, but she just blanked me. i then discovered later on that she's added my husband as a friend on facebook, even though he says he doesnt know her.
i'm now really worried that she is going to a, tell my husband where i was all night and b, tell my friend i was snorting coke in his bathroom. i dont know what to do for the best, try and speak to her or just avoid her altogether?
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If you're that worried about your friend finding out you do coke, you should probably find other ways of letting off steam and be a better, more worthy friend. I don't envy you the mess you've got yourself in, but if you ditch the drugs, it's a step towards getting yourself out of any future holes....
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I dont understand why people would think i am making this up?! It has taken me ages to have the guts to post this and all people can do is say it's a story.
Well it's not. This is my life and this is how screwed up it is right now.
Some real advice would be much appreciated, rather than just people having a go!
My question was, should i try and speak to this girl and see if i can sort it out with her OR should i just stay clear.
To answer the comments already made though, yes she has been with her boyfriend for 13 years though as i have aready said, he is a musician and so doesn't have anywhere he calls home. she had been living at home with her parents and now she is living with my friend. why is that so crazy?
and yes of course i know my friend is very anti drugs, though it's my choice if i want to do that.
Well it's not. This is my life and this is how screwed up it is right now.
Some real advice would be much appreciated, rather than just people having a go!
My question was, should i try and speak to this girl and see if i can sort it out with her OR should i just stay clear.
To answer the comments already made though, yes she has been with her boyfriend for 13 years though as i have aready said, he is a musician and so doesn't have anywhere he calls home. she had been living at home with her parents and now she is living with my friend. why is that so crazy?
and yes of course i know my friend is very anti drugs, though it's my choice if i want to do that.
Hey candy_hearts. You know it's a mess, and you've have mucked up. It's difficult to put myself in your situation, but if I was you, I would leave well alone with this girl. If you poke at it, it could unravel even further. Is it worth asking hubby to delete her as a friend on FB if he doesn't know her - after all, if he doesn't, why would he accept her friend request?
Yes, you had an affair, but her bloke was the one that did the dirty on her in the middle of a 13 year relationship. If you didn't know about her, you're not to blame on that front - the fact you had an extra-marital affair is a whole other issue. HE's to blame for cheating on her with you. Her issue should be with him, not you. There are so many issues going on here - might help to deal with each separate one one at a time. Sorry - no further advice to offer. Just try and behave in future!
Yes, you had an affair, but her bloke was the one that did the dirty on her in the middle of a 13 year relationship. If you didn't know about her, you're not to blame on that front - the fact you had an extra-marital affair is a whole other issue. HE's to blame for cheating on her with you. Her issue should be with him, not you. There are so many issues going on here - might help to deal with each separate one one at a time. Sorry - no further advice to offer. Just try and behave in future!
candy as China doll has advised it is out of your hands really. trying to talk to her will more than likely only stir things up.
I do believe you, but it is only your own fault and sometimes you just have to hold your hands up. If you are lucky it will blow over and your husband will never know.
I do have to say though, doing coke is up to you but if you know your friend is very anti-drugs don't you think it's very disrespectful to do it in HIS home?
I do believe you, but it is only your own fault and sometimes you just have to hold your hands up. If you are lucky it will blow over and your husband will never know.
I do have to say though, doing coke is up to you but if you know your friend is very anti-drugs don't you think it's very disrespectful to do it in HIS home?
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