Ok - the porn thing first -
men enjoy pornography because it is pleasure without responsibility. he gets to be utterly selfish, he doesn't have to think about anyone but himself, and a lot of men find that very exciting.
If you find him shy, then take control. Tell him excatly what you want him to do to you - be as selfish as you like. Then tell him he cn do as he likes.
This will get the intimacy going again, and once you are both more relaxed, you can start being more caring as a couple, and bringing some emotion in to top up the ohsycal pleasure.
Maybe he has got to a stage where he thinks he has to 'perform' which is why he finds porn an easier option.
you need to take that pressure off - and let everything relax, insisting that an orgasm for either of you is nice, but not essential, it's not the medal at the end of a race!
A relaxed approach from you will probably help him to get back into enjoying intimacy with you - so tgake it nice and slowly ... if you get my meaning.