watching adult movies

[confussed_lady]

My boyfriend like most men has been watching porn, this was a bit upsetting for me as we dont have sex that often and things seam to have got a bit boring recently.
I suggested that if he was going to watch porn then we should save the arguments (he tries to hide the fact he watches it) and watch it together, but when we went to watch it he acted all dumb like he didnt know what he was doing and made me feel a bit daft really. He didnt get excited or even act like he wanted to be watching it.
Any suggestions please on how i can spice things up xx

[DTCwordfan]

'Fraid I agree with Candy on this one.....especially if sex is important to you. It was one of the drivers re divorce as to my wife and I. I had the more intense emotional drive where she saw it more in a male sense, as in transactional sex.

[jd_1984]

Had a great sex life with a girl last year, I will spare you the details :) But that was all we had, nothing else to build a relationship on. Sometimes you compramise, if twice a week is enough and in all other areas you are happy so be it. Once the pressure wears off it might just pick up again naturally? 4 years down the line it is natural for it to dwindle a bit. Only you know what makes you happy.

[confussed_lady]

looks like im going to have to have my ive had enough chat again, not that it ever gets me anywere. Dont get me wrong when we do do it its amazing and he always makes sure i get pleasure from it but sometimes it would be nice to just take control i guess.

[confussed_lady]

thanxs JD he is amazing in everyway and i know things would dwindle eventually as we couldnt stay locked in the bedroom for days on end. Im a bit worried it could get worse as im pregnant (so we must of being doing something right lol) im just scared of the after baby comes its going to be more excuses, i might change then and feel different due to being knackard, but at the mo y hormones are raging and i wanna just tie him up all day and night lol

[TheTruthHere]

jd_1984
>>Each pick a film and you have to copy what is going on in the film. <<

Where are they going to get a water melon from at 2-30 in the morning :)

[jd_1984]

Depends what you in to. The films I have watched dont feature melons (well they do but just not the fruit variety!)

[DTCwordfan]

So the hormones are rampant.....

Have the baby and then see - as usually it is the man who is chomping at the bit and the girl is taken up with the babe or trying to get sleep. Wait and see what develops.

Then if he is being reticent, go onto the front foot with the domme bit and kick it off again Have you two explored your fantasies???? Again writing is good for that. My wife did play along with my own 'interests' after I owned up but I am not going there here.

[snags]

Banging away?

[andy-hughes]

Ok - the porn thing first -

men enjoy pornography because it is pleasure without responsibility. he gets to be utterly selfish, he doesn't have to think about anyone but himself, and a lot of men find that very exciting.

If you find him shy, then take control. Tell him excatly what you want him to do to you - be as selfish as you like. Then tell him he cn do as he likes.

This will get the intimacy going again, and once you are both more relaxed, you can start being more caring as a couple, and bringing some emotion in to top up the ohsycal pleasure.

Maybe he has got to a stage where he thinks he has to 'perform' which is why he finds porn an easier option.

you need to take that pressure off - and let everything relax, insisting that an orgasm for either of you is nice, but not essential, it's not the medal at the end of a race!

A relaxed approach from you will probably help him to get back into enjoying intimacy with you - so tgake it nice and slowly ... if you get my meaning.

[sir.prize]

You really are confussed, lady!

[confussed_lady]

@crossword, thanxs for the advice i may just ask him to wrie a few things down because if hes embarrassed talking about it it may be better for him to write it doown and then i can put it in to action. Im not planning on running away before or after the baby comes hes just amazing!! :) and he is actually younger than me so that could be another issue.
@pink i dont think that is the prob things were a bit odd before and out of all the excuses he has used i havnt had that 1 yet.... i supose if he did there wouldnt be much i could say lol x

[jd_1984]

You have called him "amazing" several times, you obviously think a lot of him. It might be worth giving him time, its not like he is a "will do for now" boyfriend, you got history there.

[The-Toff-]

pmsl at snags.

[confussed_lady]

haha @pink thats a fab answer!! I may have been a little harsh but hey its the hormones right?? or a serious phase of fustration. I will back off he will prob start demanding me, or think ive gone seriously ill lol thanxs x

[jd_1984]

Pink - DIY - What you mean you knock a few fence panels up?