Having an affair

[Mintee]

I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this but...

I'm in a relationship that is happy but dull. I've met someone recently that I would love to see more of. I suppose my ideal situation would be to maintain my current relationship because breaking up with him would break his heart (and because we both get something good out of the relationship). He was single for a long time before we met and thinks I am his ideal woman.

But.... I've never been one for long-term monogamy and the idea of meeting up with the person I've met for some no-strings fun is very appealing.

Has anyone else done something similar and if so, did it go as you planned or was it a total f*cking nightmare in practice?

[ummmm]

How good a liar are you?

[venator]

The things I most regret are things I didn't do...

[mummyh]

you say it's happy but dull. if it's really happy, you won't even consider doing the dirty on him, and if it's more dull than happy, do the decent thing and break it off with him so you have your fun and he is treated semi-decently.

[cazzz1975]

I think if he found out you were sleeping around he would be more than heartbroken

[DTCwordfan]

have you explored cuckolding - it can be very dangerous emotionally.

[Mintee]

Two very good answers! I'm an excellent liar and I don't want to regret not doing stuff..

[boxtops]

There's no such thing as a free lunch. No strings doesn't always work. You run the risk of wrecking your nice stable relationship - try livening up your own partnership instead. No good will come of this if you want to stay with your current bloke. "The grass on the other side is just that - grass".

[sara3]

have some respect for your partner. be with him or finish it, and give him the opportunity to find someone who will give him what he wants.

[DTCwordfan]

explored with him, that is......

[sara3]

DT, will I be shocked if I google that? :o)

[cazzz1975]

or just go ahead and do it and see what happens, I will bet it ends in tears..

[ladyalex]

I'm with boxtops.
There's no such thing as 'no strings fun'.
Somebody , or possibly everybody is going to get hurt if you go down this road.

[Mintee]

Sorry, later answers weren't there when I responded. Yes he would be very upset if he found out. Yes it is easy to say 'why don't you just split up' but surely people know by now it is not as simple as that... Do you really believe it is not possible to be happy in a relationship and still want someone else? Really genuinely impossible to want two people at the same time? How driven do we want to be by what society says is okay/not okay?

[cazzz1975]

maybe you should consider an open relationship, at least he will have the opportunity to meet a nice lady

[sara3]

sorry, I didn't realise we were only supposed to support you.

[mightyWBA]

My wife/girlfriend of 23 years did it to me and it broke my heart.
Fortunately time is a great healer and the pain of betrayal is eased by being free of a deceitful woman.
He'll find you out one day,the signs are always there.
Do the decent thing,you owe the poor chap that.

[cazzz1975]

she must have been mad wba :S

[ummmm]

I think it's possible to be happy and still love someone else. Acting on it is a different matter...you need to be with a like minded person.