Funny Jobs Part Two

[marval]

I hate being a Window cleaner
I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in.


I considered quitting my job in the electronics factory today.
But I have decided to solder on.


I asked the barber if he could do my hair in 2 minutes.
He said "Of course! I know a short cut"


I love working as a bouncer.
I'm quality control at the local bra factory.


I was messing around with my mate at the pottery factory yesterday and we got locked in the kiln.
The boss fired us both.


I was accused of stealing and fired from my job at the mirror shop today.
"Don't worry" I said, "I'll see myself out."


Finally, my Plumbing business is getting really busy.
It's all cisterns go.


I turned up to my first day of work at a local restaurant. I walked up to a chef and said, 'Hey, it's my first day. What should I do first?'

'Wait a second' he replied.

Shortest shift ever.


I thought my interview for the local lifeguard job went well, so imagine my shock when I received the phone call to say I had not been successful.

"Can I just ask why I didn’t get it?" I asked in an annoyed voice.

"Well, you came across really well, but your attire left a lot to be desired" the snooty bloke replied.

"Oh, so it’s the way I look, it’s not easy being unemployed, we can’t all dress at M and S, so what exactly was the problem Mr big shot" I demanded.

"It was the rubber ring and armbands to be honest" he replied.


I'm starting to get annoyed with my boss, he keeps asking me to give him a hand for a minute or sometimes even an hour.
I'm thinking about quitting work at the watch repair shop.


I opened a small accountancy practice which I named 'Counts'.

Business was pretty poor until I realised that the 'o' had fallen off the sign outside the office.

[excelsior-1]

even better, very good

[maggiebee]

OHG marval, had to read the last one twice. Excellent!