Problem With My Ex

[charchar23]

Hi all

This is a kind of continuation from my previous post.

I split with my ex which I took badly (yes I sent the needy texts)

Well it's a long story but he owed me money and it went through twice. I tried to refund the money but sent it to the wrong account. As soon as I realised my error I made the bank aware and also my ex. The bank are trying to retrieve the money but it can take up to 5 weeks. I told ex and he said that was fine and to just let him know when it comes through, last week he told me not to try and get it back he doesn't want it as he hates me.

Today I get a call from the police stating if I don't put the money in his account by Friday I will be arrested and charged with theft. I tried to explain but he kept cutting me off stating 'my excuses don't wash with him'. I stated I had proof as the bank sent me a letter. He asked me to email a copy to him.

I did as requested and also screen shots of my ex agreeing that he didn't mind it would take so long, and a screen shot of the payment I had made in error. He replied by saying there is no guarantee in getting it back and why should my ex be out of pocket for my mistake!

I don't think I even know what my question is.

Why the *** has my ex done this. It seems a bit routine. Whenever I stop sending the 'needy' texts and change my whatsapp profile pic from something sad to me looking happy and fabulous I seem to get a call from the police. What is he playing at?? It feels like he is playing games just as I seem to move on and cut all contact.

Sorry, I think this was more than a rant than a question but if anyone does have some advice on why my ex is being a total *** then that would be greatly appreciated.

TIA

[maggiebee]

Are you sure these calls are from the police? Wouldn't have thought it would be something they would become involved with, probably classing it as a domestic dispute. Your ex seems to be blowing hot and cold - first he doesn't want it back, then he appears to report you to the police. If it was me I'd tell him to **** off.

[charchar23]

Yes it's definitely the police.

I just don't get why he doesn't want to talk to me yet when I go silent and show that I'm moving on, something always happens to drag me back to him.

He's getting the money back as its not mine and nor do I want it but I'm waiting for the bank and he knows this and was absolutely fine with it.

[Gavmacp]

Maggiebee,
I do rather agree why would the police get involved I.e telephoning her? It would be a matter for the courts.
It all sounds like the playing games syndrome.

[EDDIE51]

Are you sure the calls are from the police?
They do NOT get involved with personal debts, you can't be charged with theft for not repaying money owed to an ex partner. The police DO NOT phone people to warn them to repay a loan either! , I am CERTAIN the calls are either your ex or a friend of his trying to scare you. Next time you get one ask for the officers number so you can contact him/her at the police station.

[charchar23]

It's a lot more complicated. Basically he accused me of harassment and I was arrested then when the 2 payments went him he accused me of doing it on purpose and threatened me, so the police were called because of that.

But why would he play games? What's the point? He doesn't want to talk to me but then does this!

[charchar23]

It is them. I sent an email to his official police email address

[EDDIE51]

If the calls are the police they MUST !! by law give you their name, rank, number and tell you which police station they work from. Then look up the phone number (do not take their word, look it up yourself / Google it!) and call the number and ask to speak to them. I bet they will not tell you or just hang up.

[EDDIE51]

Where did you get the 'official' police email address from? this still looks like a scam to me.

[charchar23]

I've spoken to my local police station and awaiting a call. To be honest the person I spoke to could find his name in the database or his email address. But my officer will sort all of that out when I speak to him.

But the main issue is WHY that idiot is doing this! Why ALWAYS when I stop contacting him and 'if' he still has me on whatsapp when I change my picture to me being fabulous lol

[charchar23]

He gave me the email. And replied to me from it

[charchar23]

He is real. Just saw his warrant number on the email he sent me and input it into the Herts find an officer search and he was there

[Gavmacp]

Still do not believe! With the police being stretched to the limit cannot see them wasting time with this. You were arrested for harassment then on what your husband has presented to them they are going to charge you! It all sound fishy!!

[DTCwordfan]

No I agree this is a civil affair and the police would not get involved. What is serious though, is if your ex is putting on a clever scam, he would be in very hotwater for impersonating the police and open to arrest and the rest. Furthermore, your solicitor would have a field day with him to any other outstanding break-up issues.

[ubasses]

When you sent the email was the address [email protected],
Just googled Emailing police stations and they all seem to be the same. If not good chance all the other answers are right and your Ex is trying to alarm and upset you.

[EDDIE51]

We are not getting the full story, there is a mention of 'harassment', arrests and 'threats'.

[DTCwordfan]

If he is doing that, as ubasses hints at, a little walk down to your local nick with the evidence may be in order.

[charchar23]

[email protected]

That was the email address.

Yes he had me arrested for supposed 'harassment' then he was arrested over this money issue as he left voicemails stating he's going to come find me and hurt me.

It's a long complicated story and it is very childish. It seems he can't talk like an adult and sort this out ourselves.

But like the I said the issue I have is WHY he keeps doing this. He knows what's happening with the money and he's agreed to wait to see what the bank says. So why call the police when I have proof of everything. See.... Silly little childish games

[DTCwordfan]

I would record any phone calls that he makes to you, char....worth the investment of the machine....or if any of his friends/family call on his behalf.

[albaqwerty]

Stop texting him, once the money is repaid, change your number and delete his and delete his email address. Change your whatsapp and any other social media stuff.
He wants to feel he has control over you

[charchar23]

albaqwerty - that's what I thought. I know he's seeing someone. What got me wondering is that its weird how I get a call 4 days after last texting him and the the day after I change my whatsapp profile pic and my status thanking a man for taking them for me (the man in question is actually my very gay mate). Why then?

Does he still have feelings for me?
But he won't talk to me!
Does he like that I sent those needy texts and thinks by doing this it will make me think of him and send more?
Or does he just plain hate me like he said he does?