I Wonder Why This Number Is Rising So...
Politics3 mins ago
I've been in bed for 20 minutes and l've just remembered, l only came upstairs for a pen.
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Last night I had a terrible dream that I had to make a thousand pancakes.
I was tossing and turning all night long!
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A friend of mine is a brilliant Scottish country dancer.
He's the reel deal.
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And, what about Albino's.
You can't say fairer than that.
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Salesman : “Can I interest you in a pocket calculator, Sir ?”
Me : “No thanks, I already know how many pockets I have”
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I see there's a display of medieval torture racks on locally later today.
I might pop along, just to stretch my legs.
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Did you realize that life is a terminal disease?
And it’s sexually transmitted?
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I asked my friend Sam to sing a song about the iPhone.
And then Samsung.
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I was asked if I could name a country with no 'r' in it.
I said 'No way.'
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I did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 97 and live comfortably for eleven minutes!
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