First family And illness/death

[Carrianni]

Hi, My daughters of 19&22 love their Dad, but will have nothing to do with his current wife. After a recent death in the family they have become concerned that if anything happens to their Dad they will have no say in anything, his wife will be next of kin and able to make decisions without taking their feelings into account in any way. Worse case scenario they might not even know if anything happened. My ex is great at doing the ostrich act, but if there was a piece of paper they could put in front of him of him he would sign it. He does love them & would not want them excluded. Anyone know if anything can be done?

[dot.hawkes]

Your ex is the only one who can do anything, he has to make a will and have the girls named in it and state what it is he is leaving to them. There is not legal right to being anyone's next of kin but his wife at the time of his death would have to be in his will to be able to inherit anything from him.
You should encourage him to have the idea himself though, men are stubborn asd you no doubt know, you could do this by making up a story about a friend whose children were left with nothing because their dad did not think to make things legal in the form of a will,

[bednobs]

really if your daughters have distanced themselves from their dad because of his wife, they shouldnt expect to have any say in funeral arrangements etc. Even if you were still married to him, and you wanted burial but they wanted cremation they wouldnt have the final say would they?
Personally i think it would be much much better to make a rapproachement so that thay are involved with his life now, rather than just becoming involved "if something happens"

[DaisyMae]

I agree with bednobs, it is silly to wait until he dies to try and sort this problem out. The girls don't have to become deeply entrenched with his new wife but it would not hurt them to consider his feelings and how much it must hurt him that they dislike her so much. Perhaps they could sit down with him and discuss it with him from that point of view. If they could bring themselves to start small, being kind and polite to her, then it might well grow and become manageable as a result.