Needy friend story continues.....(Like a bloomin' soap opera this!)

[merciasounds]

After I closed down on here last night, I went and had a shower and went to bed, I'd just got my book out and put my ipod on, when the phone rings again. My bedroom phone doesn't have caller ID like the one in the hall, and it might have been my hubby, so I answered. It was Maggie - the conversation went like this:
"Oh thank god, at LAST - I was beginning to think you'd left the planet -
(Me) "Maggie, I-"
"I'm in the city centre, I'll be with you in twenty minutes, you'll-
(me again) Maggie, look love, I'm sorry, but-"
"..never guess what that rotten ba**ard has done, only gone and run off with £30,000 of my money and-
(me again) "MAGGIE WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND"
"I'll leave right now - what, what's the matter"
(Me) No Maggie, not tonight, I'm sorry, not this time. I can't cope with stress at the moment, I've only just got out of hospital."
Silence from her end for a few seconds then she said,
"But how am I going to get my money back?"


That hurt me. Not oh god how are you, or why were you in hospital, or what's wrong - but how am I going to get my money back.
So I said rather pointedly, well what did you do after 'John' did that to you, or 'David' or 'Marcus'
I could have mentioned a couple more if i'd have remembered their names - all she retorted was
"David left me with debts, he didn't take my money"
(Me)"Which you ended up paying which is the same difference in my book, but whatever Maggie, I just can't deal with this at the moment"
"But I only want to talk"
(me) "But you don't Maggie, you want to cry and scream and rant and tell me how every man you meet is a 'bas**rd and how you won't be caught out again, and you haven't even asked me what I was in hospital for"

She said she presumed it was something to do with my accident. Thinking about it, after my accident, I was in hospital for two years, apart from 9 weeks. Not all together 9 weeks, spread about I was allowed home between some operations (19 altogether) she came to see me 3 times in all that time. She lived less than an hour away from the one hospital, and 90 minutes from the other.

Anyway the upshot was, she said
"So you don't want me there', and I said, 'not this time Maggie', and she just put the phone down on me. I feel relief - just like a weight has been lifted from me. She phoned back an hour later, drunk and crying but I put the phone down on her and switched it to the ansaphone.

[Quassia]

Hard to do but I understand where you're coming from. Time to put 'you' first for a change.

[Mamyalynne]

You have done the right thing as demonstrated by your sense of relief.

[evil__sheep]

oh, right. Lovely story. You know there are blog sites on the internet, right?

[China Doll]

Doesn't sound much fun, hopefully when she's calmed down a bit she will see that you weren't in a position to be strong and helpful for her this time.

[merciasounds]

Evil_____sheep I asked advice here last night, just keeping people up to speed - if you don't like it, don't read it, it's not rocket science

[grasscarp]

I like it Mercia. I am so glad you stood up to her.

[coccinelle]

There are some people who don't see passed their belly button and all they need is someone to listen to them. I've met a few in my time. They're not worth getting stressed up over as they don't really want a solution but just for you to say oh poor so and so.

[evil__sheep]

When i saw the title i assumed it was a continuation of another thread but coul;dn't find one here (last post in this section was last week).
I thought this was a question and answer site. You could have either continued in your previous thread, or make a blog - there are plenty of site which offer the service for free

[Ric.ror]

Well done Mercia for standing up to Maggie and Evil - sheep
You go girl

[sophie_1003]

Haven't been following other threads mercia but would just like to say congrats! I used to let one of my best friends walk all over me and it felt so good when I finally stood up to her! Unfortunately she didn't take it very well and we're no longer friends but that's her problem not mine!

[shivvy]

Why is this bothering you so much evil__sheep?

[merciasounds]

http://www.theanswerb.../Question1036202.html

Got to the link first, then read last nights!!

[merciasounds]

She's turned up - I thought she might - i've pretended to be out

[grasscarp]

What a nightmare. Perhaps she wants to apologise and knows you wont answer the phone?

[merciasounds]

She wants booze - and to moan she's getting no more from me. I told my hubby when he phoned what had happened - he's never liked her, said she was one of life's takers. I've always stood up for her in the past, but he's right - and there's only so much giving you can give before you become resentful, that's when to call it a day - that time has come for me I'm afraid.

[rowanwitch]

I haven't joined in up til now...but she is not a friend she is what I describe as an emotional vampire

I decided some time ago I would no longer give my time and energy to those who affected me like that....best decision I could have made... I now focus my efforts where they are appreciated and effective....

Result...more time for me and a few real friends who will help me in return

Sadly attracting people like this is what happens if people see you as 'sorted' and mega capable and never saying no... now take care of yourself as it sounds like your personal resources are too low for sharing right now

[merciasounds]

You've hit the nail on the head there Rowan. She put a note through the door, the dogs are in Devon as I can't exercise them properly as I still can't walk very far without the knee swelling up, Maggie put 'I guess you are away as the dogs didn't bark when i knocked when you feel better ring me'
not even a 'get better soon' or anything.

[Quassia]

mercia ... The very moment you reach 'dreading' a so called friend calling is time to call it quits. As you say, the relief when you find the courage to tell it like it is!