Need advice on proving im innocent!

[sheribee]

This may seem unimportant to some, but i really need to do this!
I found out today that my cousin has accused me of stealing money from our grandmothers account in the days after she died ( i didnt!!), i was with my nan when she died, and my cousin had her bank card at this time.
The executers to the will were my cousins dadand his brother (my 2 uncles, my mums brothers) they both believed my cousin that i had stolen this money, i dont know how much was missing and nobody has said anything to me about this, or challenged me. Now this all happened 5 years ago, but i want to clear myname and ensure that if my cousin has stolen this money that she is punished for this.
How can i prove my innocence? Can i involve the police in this matter, if after speaking to my uncle tomorrow that he confirms money was stolen/missing? or is it too late after 5 years?
I do not want to let this go, m nan was everything to me,i was the only one there at the end with her, my cousin went off on holiday (With our nans bank card) a cpl of days before she died. nobody else came when i toldthem she would die astheydidnt believe me. I feel so hurt that anyone could think i could do such a thing! And i want to make sure my whole family know the truth, and find out who took this money, i am prepared to do anything as i am totally innocent!
Thanks in advance everyone xx

[tenrec]

Why is this worrying you after 5 years? Why have you done nothing sooner?

[bednobs]

i'm not sure you can prove a negative (that you didn't take the money)
what about a jezza kyle style lie detector?

[sherrardk]

Hi Tenrec - sheribee says in her post that she only found out today that she is thought to have stolen the money five years ago.

[sheribee]

I was thinking, any transactions that took place after her death would still be registered. Would banks still have cctv from 5 years ago, or am i just being stupid?? Im so upset!!!! I want to prove it wasnt me, and find out who it was!

[factor-fiction]

If you have proof that she withdrew money from the account then you could report her to the police. If you can't prove it was her then I can't see how it can be proved it wasn't you, and you may just have to ignore it or say "I didn't take anything but call the police if you don't believe me"

[pretty_snowdrop]

It seems stange that no one has mentioned it before now, I would have thought one of your Uncles would have said something at the time. Why has it suddenly being brought up now?

[andres]

Hi sheribee,I am a bit puzzled as to how 5 years could go by with anyone saying anything. If your uncles,as executors, had been doing their job properly then your nan's bank accounts should have been frozen as soon as she died. Then your cousin would not have been able to draw out money with the card.I don't think I would involve the police just yet.Wait until you are sure of all the facts e.g. amounts of money ,dates when drawn out and more importantly from where ;Your gran's bank statements would show the relevant details as to the latter and these are details that the executors of a will should know. Best of luck to you .

[Graham-W]

The bank will probably still have statements for your nans account. These would show where and when the withdrawals were made. If the withdrawals were made from the area your cousin was on holiday at the time she was on holiday I would think it would be pretty conclusive.
However... I don't think the bank would give you copies of the statements. You'd have to get the police involved and I don't suppose it would be on their urgent list.

[sheribee]

I wasspeaking with another (nice) cousin today, we were reminising about happy times with our nan, she brought it up as she thought her dad had questioned me about it, but nobody said anything to me.
The cousin who had accussed me was given all the money that was left over in our nans account after she died, this was a decision made by my uncle (her dad) as even tho i too cared for my nan, they thought id stolen this money.
I want to go to the police as i am innocent and somebody has stolen money from my nan after she has died, but i just dont know if 5 years later is too late.
I never had access to her bank card or pin number, my cousin always had it. When i did ask for it a few days before my cousin went on holiday at my nans request, i was told that she couldnt give it to me as her dad wouldnt like it. Even tho nan was in hospital and wanted things.
I have no idea what money went missing, but i will find out, i just dont want to go to the police and look an idiot and waste their time.
Surely this is a crime tho, and should be investigated??

[sheribee]

Jeremy Kyle isnt exactly my scene, bit too tacky and full of weirdos lol.

[woofgang]

Being practical, 5 years and no evidence, your chances go getting anywhere are pretty slim....sorry

[sheribee]

I dont really know what hapened after she died re. freezing accounts etc. My cousin could have left the card behind when she went away and her daughter could have used it. She lived in the same town as me, so if that was the case then i would still be in the frame. Unless it was a time when i was at work, then i can prove it wasnt me.
Im just so angry, i was left to cope with watching my beloved nan die in pain, alone with no support from her 3 children, and 13 grandchildren all because my cousins mother was telling everyone i was over exaggerating about my nans condition! I feel so let downby everyone, that any of my family could think i could do such an awful awul thing!

[sheribee]

Thats what i need, evidence, but i just dont know where to start to get it!!

[woofgang]

Sorry I am saying i don't see how you can get it (evidence). And having re read this thread, you are going on the word of one person. Have you talked to the executors about this?

[NoMercy]

Who was the person who first accused you?

Get a solicitor to send them a very stern letter warning that you intend, with the assistance of the bank and police, to have this matter fully investigated.

[EDDIE51]

After 5 years and with no evidence other than what people are reported to have said the chance of doing anything legally about this are ZERO .
Just tell the relatives that you could not have done it and why then stop worrying about it. To answer your question No the banks will not still have CCTV evidence from 5 years ago, nor will there still be records of the time the cash was withdrawn , only the dates.

[tonywiltshire]

I agree with no mercy, if it is causing you distress ask a solicitor to write to your cousin on your behalf reminding them that it is possible to claim damages for defamation, a classic definition of defamation is “A false statement of fact that holds the plaintiff up to ridicule, hatred and contempt among right –thinking members of society”. You may find the police are not interested and will claim it is a civil matter. You may also find some solicitors are reluctant to write such a letter, and I would suggest you do not proceed to court unless you are very wealthy.

[rowanwitch]

After your nan died if it was left to her son(s) they could do whatever they wanted but if they took no action at the time I suspect either they knew where it really went... or didn't want to accept it was one of heir own that did it so it was less painful for them to blame you. Some of the ways you describe what happened around the time of your Nan's death make me think you have a lot of unresolved anger and grief this may be making you feel worse about the accusation. Mainly because it would seem even more unfair.

I might write to them...saying this has been brought to your attention,, that you completely refute all allegations and you expect them to stop spreading malicious statements about you. Then TBH I'd let it go... and have nothing more to do with any of them.

[isitjustme]

It sounds to me as if you have been well and truly stitched up by your cousin and her Dad. Confront her Dad and ask him what is going on.