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Advice on bad behaviour

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themalster | 14:56 Tue 11th Sep 2012 | Family Life
6 Answers
My 4 (5 in November) year old son started school last week.

Myself and my ex (with whom i get on well) werent made aware til last Friday that he was kicking, punching and generally misbehaving all week.

My ex spent most of Friday evening crying and he could see she was upset, then when i saw him over the weekend i also spoke to him.

He seemed to understand that what he was doing was wrong.

He had a much better day yesterday but today he's pulled another child's hair, threw their things around and had to be sat next to the headmistress at lunchtime so that he'd stop throwing peas about.

He really isn't a bad child (i know as his dad i would say that) and this is out of character but we are at a loss as to why he's behaving like this and how to fix it as we really dont want him to be kicked out of school

Does anyone have any experience of this and also some advice as to how to deal with it?
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as a mother of three and nana of three I would first of all, insist that the school inform you straight away about any bad behaviour so that the reason for it can be looked into immediately, in case the reason is school related.

Now that you know there is something happening with your child that you want to sort out and you cannot put your finger on the reason you need to talk to the child's teacher, so make an appointment to see her/him. Discussions like this show your child and his/her teacher that you are taking it seriously and you want to find a solution.

There are protocols in place for just this sort of thing at the primary school where I work and generally they have made a difference to a child's behaviour, and rarely have I seen a child excluded for this type of conduct.

Does this kind of behaviour only happen at school? Does your child seem stressed? In my experience if a child acts out of character it is either because they are pushing the boundaries of acceptable behaviour to test the grown up involved or there could be a more serious reason, which you should, of course, think about.

oh the joys of parenthood!

good luck.
is your son an only child? did he go to pre-school?if so how did he behave there?
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Thanks for your answer Alice, we will speak with the school. He has his moments at home but not malicious. He has two cousins around his age and as they say, boys will be boys.

Petal, he is the only child. He went to nursery and had moments but most of the time he was a good boy and the workers there loved him as he was well behaved most of the time.

His mum and I split a couple of months ago but we have never raised voices, argued etc. It was an amicable split and we get on well
I hope things work out for you all,best wishes
He'll still miss you being around all the time though malster
My first question would be 'What happened to him make him hit/kick/angry?'

Then, what Alice said

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