I Would Appreciate Your Comments Please!

[scruffbag]

My parents are 80, with bad health problems. My in laws also have bad health issues. They all need time and help, with daily living.
We have a 18 year old son, who has just gone off to uni.
We both work, run a house and have a dog.
I just feel we are pulled from pillar to post. We try and give time to each other, but at times it feels difficult.
Who do you put first? Your parents, your child or your partner?
Any advice, would be really appreciated. Many thanks to everyone!

[bednobs]

the dog.
seriously, your son does not need you at the moment. What would happen if you left the parents to get on with it?

[ummmm]

Your son has gone off to uni so he's big enough to look after himself.

I would put the parents first. You'll regret missing time with them when they pass.

[ummmm]

That is presuming you get on well with your parents.

[China Doll]

Depends on the help required. Generally I put the person who's need is greatest on any given day first and work from there, but I always keep my own life as a priority because I can't help other people if my own life is out of balance. If I was concerned about elderly relatives managing on a daily basis (like my grandad) then I'd probably speak with social services about help that might be on offer, I'd not take it all on myself as I wouldn't consider it practical or managable. Plus I'm not that selfless.

[scruffbag]

The dog I think does come first! It goes to doggie nursery when I work, three times per week, and loves it!!

[missprim]

There are nurseries for dogs?

[scruffbag]

Yes, just loads of dogs playing together in a field, having fun!! xx

[Bravehearted]

Make sure you apply for attendance alliance for each of your parents and in laws. It is their right and yours. The money can be used for home helps and a host of other matters. Even to pay for fuel when you visit them. You'll surprised how much you get each week

[Mosaic]

You are doing fine in difficult times. Is there any way you can get extra assistance with the Aged P's? eg a cleaner, a hairdresser, some ready meals delivered...that way you get a breather while still caring.
The lad will be fine, he'll come home with a pile of washing at Christmas then clear off to see 'friends' ie a girl he sleeps with. As he should.

[lady-janine]

sounds like a juggling act with parents and in-laws and then yourselves. son will come back from uni as and when and then he will need your attention.

can parents and in-laws obntain help from anywhere else so that you do not have to bear the full burden? it is important that you find time for yourselves.

hope this helps.

[lady-janine]

agree with bravehearted and mosiac and china doll.

get as much help as you can or the burden will become too much for you.

[scruffbag]

You are all so wonderful! Many thanks xx