Situation Driving Me Mad!

[boona]

I am so fed up of this and I don't know what I can do to stop getting wound up. Basically my mum is like a never ending bank to my sister who spends all her money on take aways and god knows what else and then complains to my mum she has money for food/bills/ money to dress her child. Mum then lends her money which she never gets back. Mum then complains to me that my sister is always "hinting" to lend money and she is not going to do it anymore. I then find out later that she has lent her more money!! I have told mum that she is not helping her learn to budget. Myself and sister are both single parents and earn about the same amount of money. I save/manage my money and do not need to lend unless I have an emergency which doesnt happen often but then I pay back. My sister on the other hand throws a few £10's and the debt is wrote off. I hate to sound jealous but it really pi**es me off!!

[MallyJ]

I would have a chat with your mum..let her know how you feel that your sister is the favourite as she gets help and you, who are sensible , do not. Explain how you feel that she is not helping your sister to manage money...and perhaps this would be preferable to chucking more money at her. Then , if I were you, I would sit back smugly and smile about how much more mature than my sister I am. You are an excellent money manager...your sister is not...I wonder if that has always been the case. Well done you...you should be proud of yourself. Do have a chat with your mum though......

[tonyav]

I hate to sound jealous but it really pi**es me off!!


Don't blame you.

[mightymouse]

Exactly.......get to know the difference between "lend" and "borrow", then your post may be better understood!

[Patsy33]

Your mum has her reasons. It's probably easier to give in to your sister than to put her foot down. She probably can't cope with it all. Hopefully as your sister gets older she might not be so selfish.

[boona]

Thanks Mally, I have tried this and it hasn't changed anything... it would be better if my mum didn't complain about my sister, that is what winds me up the most, she complains that she is fed up of her not managing her money.. she even calls me at work and says "you will never guess what your sister has done with her money now" and then she gives her more money anyway!! Of course my sister is going to blow all her money if she knows she is going to get another supply! I have toldy mum not to tell me but she can't help gossiping!

[boona]

Patsy, my sister is 40yrs!

[woofgang]

Your Mum may not be able to stop gossiping but you can stop listening. Seriously, say to your mum that you don’t want to hear it then change the subject..if that doesn’t work then say goodbye and put the phone down.

[boona]

Woofgang. Starting from tomorrow that is exactly what I am going to do. I am sick of the headache it gives me.

[MallyJ]

I would be tempted then to stop my mum discussing it with me..I would tell her that I am fed up with her complaining and doing nothing about it so please don't tell me any more....and mean it. I think that if she does not take you at your word then don't take the next couple of calls and explain why.

[boona]

Thanks guys, I just needed to vent. I have taken on board what you have said. I will start this tomorrow.

[boona]

Can I just ask.. would it annoy anyone else or am I just being a jealous sibling?

[woofgang]

it would pizz me off completely

[Cloverjo]

I don't think I'd be jealous, exactly. But I know how you feel. My dad often gives money to my sister to help her out, and then she goes off on holidays abroad and weekends away.
I try to let it wash over me.

[gness]

Of course you're annoyed......and it's not being a jealous sibling, Boona....

I've had it all my life with my brother and sister.......my mother even forged my signature which meant my sister got a shed load of money due to me...

I can let it wash over me because my mother never spoke to me about it but if she had been telling me or moaning to me it'd get on my nerves......x

[gness]

Snap, Clover!....We must be really clean with all the washing...x

[boona]

Gness, that is terrible

[gness]

Oh it's not the worst she did to me, Boona.....luckily I'm fairly laid back and if it makes her happy I can ignore it......teaches you how not to treat your children, doesn't it...... :-)

[boona]

I would combust! Tbh if my daughter turned out to be like my sister I would be horrified.I would hope that I brought her up well enough to manage her own money.

[gness]

You're mum's not really helping your sister, is she.....Mum won't always be there and your sister will be in a mess if she doesn't learn to manage her life without financial help whenever she asks.......x