my eldest daughter was like this you have to have a lot of patience which no doubt you have got , you have to give her boundaries and stick to them this will make her feel secure but you have to stick to them she will react at first but it will pay off in the end constructive play between the two of you will help getting down at her level spend time each day doing this. she sounds a very clever girl and they can be one jump ahead of you.ignore the bad behavior and praise the good as she gets older you can use the star system or a small reward and relax it will be o.k. in the end if she sees you have other things to do sometimes go ahead other times you can include her in them. but be firm and loving we all have differant personality,s even babies and children. my daughter is now 40 and she has three children so she turned out o.k. hope all goes well. and dont worry.