Visits to Dad - also in Family life

[HJT40]

My daughters dad only started seeing her when she was 4. He would visit one night a week for a couple of hours, but really only sat on the sofa and didn't really do much with her, probably because it was all new to him and he had missed out on the previous years of her life, while she was becoming a proper little person. Anyhow she is now 12 and he is married with a lilttle baby boy, who is 1 year old. She now goes to stay on a Friday night, which I know she has had difficulties with, but I have persevered hoping that she would be happy there too and I know she loves her little brother. Last week I went to pick her up and he had gone back to bed while the baby was sleeping, leaving her on her own. This week she was left to look after the little one while he went and had a shower etc, knowing that she was being taken out in less than 15 minutes. She then told me when she got home that she had not had any breakfast and that the pj's that had been bought for her last year had disappeared and her dad had given her his t-shirt that he had been wearing all day to wear to bed. I did not say anything when she came home boxing day with lets just say minimum pressies and I have not said anything when I have had to pay over �200 on each school trip she has been on (2!). I do tell him about them, but I guess he chooses to ignore it, assuming that the money he pays each month covers that and her new school uniform etc. Don't get me wrong, I do get on with them and they have been round for dinner, dysfunctional I know, but what can I do or say? I want my daughter to be happy and loved?

[Fairie]

i would mention to him things that you do not find appropriate,