ChatterBank3 mins ago
Dropping ex's surname for my son...any help?
7 Answers
Hi, my ex has decided he doesn't want much to do with our son anymore and I was wondering if I can change his surname without my ex signing anything, as he won't do it out of spite. My son has a double barrelled name at the moment, does anyone know if I can drop the last name (his dad's) or how to legally do it?
Many thanks in advance guys.
Many thanks in advance guys.
Answers
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i'm afraid i don't know the exact leagal answer, but just have this small comment/thing for you to think about.
the ex will always be the son's dad, no matter if he sees him or not. You say he dosen't want "much" to do with him, so presumably he still has something to do with him. (Paying, perhaps?) there is always the chance of a reconcilliation (between son and father), next week, next year, in five years so what would you do then, change the name back? clearly i don't know the circumstances, but it must be confusing for kids to have their names chopped and changed, and really, what does it matter if he still has his dads name after all he is his dad (even if he isn't behaving like one at the moment)? you say the dad wouldn't sign the papers out of spite, but isn't that your motivation for changing the name?
do you truely think it would be better for your son to have his dad out of his life so much, even to the extent of carving his name up, or is it just to make you feel better?
As i said i dont know your circumstances, and you could have a really really good reason (for example having to go into hiding from him) but i just wanted to make you think. You dont mention the age of the son, but maybe he could make his own decision when he is old enough? the problem when parents have spilt acrimoniously is that the slow drip of poison in the childs ear (including name changing) can be damaging long term, in my opinion
the ex will always be the son's dad, no matter if he sees him or not. You say he dosen't want "much" to do with him, so presumably he still has something to do with him. (Paying, perhaps?) there is always the chance of a reconcilliation (between son and father), next week, next year, in five years so what would you do then, change the name back? clearly i don't know the circumstances, but it must be confusing for kids to have their names chopped and changed, and really, what does it matter if he still has his dads name after all he is his dad (even if he isn't behaving like one at the moment)? you say the dad wouldn't sign the papers out of spite, but isn't that your motivation for changing the name?
do you truely think it would be better for your son to have his dad out of his life so much, even to the extent of carving his name up, or is it just to make you feel better?
As i said i dont know your circumstances, and you could have a really really good reason (for example having to go into hiding from him) but i just wanted to make you think. You dont mention the age of the son, but maybe he could make his own decision when he is old enough? the problem when parents have spilt acrimoniously is that the slow drip of poison in the childs ear (including name changing) can be damaging long term, in my opinion
If the dad had parental responsibility (named on the birth cert) then he would have to agree to the name change if your son is under 18.
Unless he can't be found by the courts, then a judge could change his name.
At least its double barrelled he has your name too presumably. You/he could just informally drop the other surname ask the school/whatever to call him....?
When your son reaches 18 he can then choose what he'd like to be called and legally change his name by deedpoll. Beware though because you can't altogether escape your old name. I changed mine by deedpoll in 2003 and ALWAYS have to give my old name aswel as the new one, for jobs, mortgages etc, even when registering the birth of my child.
Hope this helps!
Unless he can't be found by the courts, then a judge could change his name.
At least its double barrelled he has your name too presumably. You/he could just informally drop the other surname ask the school/whatever to call him....?
When your son reaches 18 he can then choose what he'd like to be called and legally change his name by deedpoll. Beware though because you can't altogether escape your old name. I changed mine by deedpoll in 2003 and ALWAYS have to give my old name aswel as the new one, for jobs, mortgages etc, even when registering the birth of my child.
Hope this helps!
I had my daughters name changed by deed poll in 2003. Although her father didn't have parental responsibility the solicitors still advised that we get him to sign consent for the name change.
The school will call him whatever you request so that route mau be easier (although I completly understand why you want to change) xx
The school will call him whatever you request so that route mau be easier (although I completly understand why you want to change) xx
im in the same situation, my sons father has had nothing to do with him for 5 years, we dont even know where he lives. But because his father is named on the birthcertificate i cant change it without his permission, and like your ex he wouldnt give that out of spite. Ive now been told that because of this teh decision will have to be made by my son when hes 18
My 8 year old has a double barrelled surname but has only ever used half which is my surname ( I split from her father when she was 15 months old and he gradually stopped having anything to do with her). I was told that when it came to schools etc, I could use whatever name I wanted her to be called by and that the only time I need to use her full surname, is when its anything to do with doctors/hospitals or DSS.
my daughters dad is named on her birth certificate but hasnt seen her since she was a year old, when she was 13 she wanted his surname dropped from her doule barralled surname, all it took was a quick trip to a solicitors with my id and her birth certificate and payment and in 20 mins her name was legally changed, with no contact from her father at all.
hope this helps a bit.
hope this helps a bit.
Oh wow, you guys, I just read this, trawling through my old AB stuff. I've still got an enormous double barrelled name for my son, but at Nursery he is just known by my surname, although his full name is given. His father is vaguely around, but, you know how it is. So my whole previous point was a seriously worried not much. I love you guys for taking the time for me though, AB started getting a bit meanie a while after, but I'm back (:/) after a cpl years hoping all you guys are still here...
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