FAO Sqad.

[Schutzengel]

Hello again. This might seem a bit disjointed, and not in the right order, as I think through all you have said about your life.
I can well understand how your biological mother never recovered from giving you up to her parents. As she grew older there would probably have been a lot of guilt in her mind. What a lovely wife you have, to encourage you to try to mend bridges. Even though it didn't work. It's so hard to try to bond with someone you never really knew. Mrs. Sqad along with many other women has a way of feeling another woman's heartache. .(Cont'd)

[Schutzengel]

Sqad. (Part Two).
It's sad that it was all too little too late. I remember taking a friend to the mother and baby home, to have her baby, her parents didn't want to know, the baby was taken away at birth, and adopted. Even now all these years later, she still hasn't got over it.

I was thinking about your grandparents who brought you up. They must have been so proud of you when sending you of to uni, and I can just imagine them at the railway station,waving you off, until you were right out of sight.

When you got to uni, it opened up a whole new world for you, and of course, (apart from the good times), there was all the hard work needed to qualify in your chosen field.
(continued in part three).

[Schutzengel]

Part Three.
Then going on to have a great career, a good life, and finding Mrs.Sqad. None of this would you have achieved without a lot of determination. That you have been prepared to share some of your life, is very special, and your grandparents must have done a very good job of helping you to become the man which you have.
As I have said, on a different thread, you are a star and a gentleman. You know the saying, 'behind every good man is a good woman'. You were very blessed to find Mrs. Sqad. Cont'd in Part Four.

[Schutzengel]

Part Four.
I don't believe for one minute that you are also a bar-steward, as you have said. Although I have read some very funny comments you have made in Chatterbank. :-)
I'm usually pretty perceptive about people, and I think anyone who has you for a friend would be very privileged. I see that you are now retired, and hope you are enjoying it.
It is so good to see that you can share (in your serious moments) some of your medical knowledge, which seem to be very much appreciated. (cont'd in Part Five).

[Schutzengel]

Part Five.
This really is nearly the end, but I for one have really enjoyed our conversational exchanges. I'm sorry that this is such a long message, but I wanted you to know that there are people out here who do care, and are interested in the ups and downs of your life.

Please accept my very good wishes for yourself and Mrs. Sqad.

Hope we come across each other again sometime.
Bye for now. Schutzengel.

[sqad617]

Schutz...I promise I will keep it short LOL

Schutz,

First of all let me say how impressed I have been in the way that you answered all the posts on the Liberty Bodice thread, that took time, attention to detail and total empathy.

Again answering my questions which were indeed asked but not answered by another person. One would presume that part of, at least, your working years was of a typist.

My situation is not unique and I would say that hundreds of thousands of situations were similar to mine, but I can now see how a female�s reaction would be completely different from a male.

The genealogy of the family is interesting in that it goes back to 1802 and they were all farm labourers in the Fens and when the railways came to the Eastern area, labourers were needed, the pay was better so they move a few miles inland. The railway built rows and rows of houses, appropriately called the �Barracks� because that is what they looked like and a whole new community built upon the running and maintenance of the railway was established. Pubs, working men�s clubs, football teams, cinemas, but not a lot for the woman folk to do.

The lifestyle has been well described by your contributors in the �Liberty� thread.

Now working class children could sit the 11+ examination and gain access to grammar schools giving one the opportunity for University education and that is what happened to me. Vouchers were given to the �poor� boys for school uniform and sports equipment , but it was never an issue from the point of view of divisiveness�.

That was the setting for my formative years being brought up by �elderly parents�

[sqad617]

Part 2

My sister was married when I was 10yrs old and moved out of the house to set up home with new husband, to whom I got on extremely well and they subsequently had two sons of their own. Six years later, I was told that my sister was my mother and the rest as they say is history. My life and attitude to my � sister� before going to Med School was fragmented and even more so after, as everything that was important to me was in London.
My sister worked hard during my childhood, taking in sewing, washing up in cafes and anything to subsidise my parents in bringing me up and keeping me in Grammar School until I was eighteen.
For those years and for different reasons subsequent years, I shall be eternally grateful to her and she has my utmost admiration, but unfortunately never told her so. Her 2 sons were never academic and she and the family emigrated to Australia the year after I qualified.

Her relationship with mrs sqad was as my mother said �Like the daughter she never had��as for me, I think that I was a disappointment although she embarrassed me by showing her friends in Australia photographs of me.

I told her I loved her once and that was on the insistence of mrs sqad���I admired her, but couldn�t use the term �love� as I could never work out what it meant.

She died last year in Australia and no, I have no contact, or need contact with my half brothers.

That�s it Schutz.

[tamborine]

I've found successful people often have 'fragmented' backgrounds and that gives them the determination to reach aspirations than more 'balanced' folk.

[sqad617]

tambo...thanks....not sure that I would decribe myself as "balanced" LOL

BUT...you. When you brought up your sister's child, were you married or did you marry subsequently.?

[tamborine]

no, not wed until neice was 6. I did answer your earlier q's.

[sqad617]

tambo....sorry....I meant to say.."not sure that I would describe myself as "succesful"

[sqad617]

tambo....how did you husband and her inter-act?

When did you tell her that you were not her mother?

[tamborine]

I was living with ageing parents and her mother was a matron living in-house. She knew all along as her mother did visit. Now, the minx, is on revenge to her mum. First step, contact bio dad rejected by him!

[sqad617]

tambo....not easy. Has she met her dad?

[tamborine]

yes.....she flew 10k miles to see him & he was 8hours late to meeting. Brought his own family of 3 girls and bragged of their abilities etc. He was not interested in meeting his g.sons & would not wait for them. End of that relationship.

She saw my OH as pa.

[sqad617]

tambo.......what a tit he is.

Well the ground rules are established.

Have you had any children of your own?

[tamborine]

have 2b and 1g who all visit and share homes with neice & her family - very close, all of them.

[sqad617]

tambo....thanks, I will not intrude any more.

You seem to have beaten the system LOL

[Schutzengel]

Sqad. Thank you for your very interesting reply. Yes you are quite correct for part of my life I did work as a typist. I too passed the 11+ and attended Grammar School, after leaving, my mother insisted on my continuing my education at a Commercial and Business College for a further two years. How wise she was. She knew that I wanted to work in the theatre, and said that was all well and fine, but it is a precarious profession, and I would have no way of knowing whether my looks or health would last, and then what would I do to support myself. There was a need to acquiring different skills which would stand me in good stead. Cont'd in Part Two.

[Schutzengel]

Part Two.
I eventually worked in the Variety Theatre on tour, from 19 to 32. Then became P.A to one of the Directors in an International Company. Since retiring from that employment. (I don't think I could ever stand to retire totally), I now work researching and describing rare and antique books for sale on the internet, partly working at home and partly in the business. Love it. I'll be forever grateful for my mum's good sense, as her insistence on my having more than one string to my bow, really has stood me in good stead.
Cont'd in Part Three.

[Schutzengel]

The Liberty Bodice thread was really interesting, and described a lot about how we lived as youngsters. It still seems to be continuing, but I shall just leave it, and perhaps just acknowledge with a few stars. I'm so glad you did manage to tell your mother you loved her, even if it was difficult. It surely meant a lot to her. What diverse paths our lives take. I might come back to you with a question at some time, as my husband has prostate cancer. But for now I'll say Cheerio!.
Best regards, to you and Mrs. Sqad.