They wont allow me to see my grandaughter

[charisma1st]

Can anyone advice me??
My son & daughter-in-law wont allow me and my other 2 sons to see my Grandaughter. The last time we saw Kayla was on 2nd may but since finding out that my son stole my bank card and took over �400 out from my bank account they wont let us see Kayla and they wont even answer their phones or texts. What makes it even harder is that my 2nd grandchild was due yesterday (25th).
When I go round to their flat they wont even answer the door.
Please can someone help with what rights I have or what I can do as we miss Kayla soooooo much :-(

[k8bailey]

Grandparents have no rights to see grandchildren, its up to the discretion of the parents. If I were you I would be reporting the theft of the money to the police - although that probably won't endear you to your son and DIL

[warpig3]

Perhaps, before involving the police, you could write to your son.

I have no knowledge of your situation or relationship with your son but why would he steal �400? Was he or his situation that desperate, could he not ask you for help directly?

If you do involve the police the chances of seeing Kayla or your new grandchild are minimal.

Whilst your son should not have stolen the money, you need to tread carefully and keep the lines of communication open (if at all possible) if you want to see your grandchildren.

I do hope you get the situation resolved.

[Riggend]

While I am not legally qualified, my understanding is that grandparents have no right in law to access to their grandchildren. You would have to take court action and prove it was in the child's interest to see you. This would be expensive.

All I can suggest is that you send a text saying what they are doing amounts to parental and child abuse and what goes round comes around.

You may have to be very patient and let things simmer down. I well understand your pain but you will get through it.

I live in Scotland but I am certain the situation is the same throughout the UK. Also try contacting your nearest Grandparents Apart.

[charisma1st]

Thank you all for your answers. I have tried numerous times to communicate with them via phone calls, texts and going round there but they wont answer any of them, so writing a letter wont help.
My son is not desperate he just stole the money for drink & cannabis as he is up the pub most nights leaving my daughter-in-law alone with Kayla.
I have always helped them out so he knows that if ever they needed anything all they had to do was ask, as in the past I paid 2 months deposit and 1 months rent on both their first and second flats (and I never got the deposits back at the end of their tenancies) I also bought all the items they needed to set up their home. I took them to Disneyland Paris they didnt have to pay for anything.
We had all been through a really bad couple of years - amongst other things I was diagnosed with cancer and we nearly lost my youngest son due to him having to have 4 dermoid cysts removed from his brain.
The money I received from my endowment policy for having cancer helped pay for the above mentioned plus more. Needless to say the money didn't last and now I only receive income support & DLA so he knows that money has been and is really tight for me but due to drink & cannabis this didn't matter to him.

[charisma1st]

I really am at a lost end as to how this can be solved, I really miss Kayla and funnily enough my daughter-in-law to.
I am sure that it is down to him that my daughter-in-law doesn't answer my calls.
I have informed the police about the money but they wont do anything as I don't have visual proof that it was him.

I have sent a letter addressed to my DIL telling her that I will always be here for her and the children, that I love and miss them and no matter wot I will welcome them with open arms.
I went to their flat today and again they wouldn't answer the door.
I am hurting so much inside and constantly wondering if DIL is in labour or had my grandchild when I wake in the mornings.

When we are stopped from seeing them it is bad as a bereavement - the loss of a loved one. All I want is to see my little Angel and give both her and baby all my love, look out for them and spoil them.

When will the law see that we as grandparents are not associates to these children, we are family and the love we have for them is sincere. I cant understand that if we have been involved in our grandchildren's lives since the day they were born that we have no rights?

[Mr Veritas]

I DO feel for your situation,BUT (as others have said) it could be a minefield if things go the wrong way.
If you (ever) got the Police involved (stolen money) then it might come out about your Son's drink and cannabis problems?
This would then get Social Services involved,and hey presto the children might go into Foster Care.
I do have esperience of this with a friend who also does not see her Grandchildren.
Difficult as it is I think you have to back off,and hope that they will approach you (difficult to believe but not impossible).
In the meantime as Riggend say contact GrandParents apart here:~
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk/
Where you will be able to meet/contact others in your situation.
Good Luck and I will be thinking of you.

[caththecrazy]

This is a totally different situation and I am in no way implying it is relevant to yours, but my mil didn't see our elder son for 18months.

Hubby has never got on with his parents (due to the awful upbringing he and his brothers had)and after a few crosswords - I can't even remember now what it was about- he refused mil to see our son and severed all contact.

At the time I went along with him as I knew what he had been through having gone to school with him and dated him since I was 15 and felt the decision was more his than mine to make.

One day she sent a letter and a book to my son and I felt that we shouldn't deny her contact with her only grandchild, more for his sake than hers. Although I would never leave either of my boys with her alone she does see them and I tolerate her and keep the peace between hubby and her.

It's not easy but never give up hope.