ADVICE-hubby had affair & child!

[XmandyX]

Advice...hubby had an affair and a child with someone..over 5yrs ago now.we are bk 2gether and had another child so 2 now,but the bitch makes it hard for hubby to see his child...wants him over her house or go out to a restaurant...he went to court....but in the end nothing really come of it...his child has met our children lots and comes over sometimes...but she is soo jealous we are together...and constantly texts and ring hubby for stupied reasons....i know he would never go there again....but she really bugs me and i can't really say anything to her,coz she will stop my hubby seeing his child...i so want revenge..and im planning on doing something,

[cherrychapstick]

Mandy be happy with the life you and your husband now share ,that is the best revenge !!

show her no matter what you are strong together and using the child as bait isn't going to get her anywhere

also as he presumably was never married to this woman it doesn't matter how many times you take it to court to get access as soon as it is put in place she can just stop contact and it will have to go back to court all over again .

does he pay maintenance for the child?

You do anything silly and it will be your children that suffer the consequences so don't be stupid!!!

[Androcles]

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and it looks like this guy has two of them!!

XmandyX, is this really what you want and how you want to play your part?

[pink-kittens]

Well, lets hope she is also plotting her revewnge upon you for stealing her man back

Raise YOUR children with your husband and let your husband deal with his right to access his other child. YOU dont need to to anything, it's nothing to do with you

[ganesh]

I agree with cazz and pink,you were silly enough to take him back,and you should not get involved. If he has problems with access to HIS child then its HIS problem. Blame him for the mess,not her. You are jealous so don't do anything you'll regret later!

[cherrychapstick]

Before your husband came back to you what were you doing?

did you not speak to him ...text him......cry down the phone at him ?

He made his bed let him lay in it .........i personally wouldn't have took him back after having a child with another woman ,that makes you just as bad as her you split them up how do you think she feels ?


but as i have said before if you do anything and your children are left to suffer ,you will have to live with that for the rest of your life just be grateful that he has came back ...because you don't know how long he will be there ...once a cheat always a cheat ..he went for a reason got what he wanted and came back!!!!!

[XmandyX]

excuse me people...u don't know the full story and what the bitch has done...stalker!
she is the cause of alot of problems..yes i knw my hubby did wrong...and regrets everything that has happen..but no im not silly im a good wife,and he was my man,,,not her's we are married for 15yrs..she got involved with a married man...and try to buy him from me..but it didnt work...as his heart is with me and our 2 children...we are stronger than ever...there's is soo much to this that i dnt think anyone can understand unless u been in such a situation!! she is the jealous one of me..that's why her child loves me and we get on well but mine dont her...she is a bad mother and had the child for the wrong reasons...but of course if you love someone for life and stay together thru thick and thin...we are unbreakable!!

[cazzz1975]

Im sorry mandy but it takes 2 to tango, evidently you did lose him long enough to impregnate her which I am sure he regrets, however getting revenge on this woman is utter madness on your part.

Whatever you think of the situation he and this woman have a child together, this childs mother does not deserve anything to happen to her because your husband could not keep it in his trousers. you have to be the bigger person for the sake of the children.

exacting revenge makes you look insecure and bitter

[bobjugs12]

Good on you Mandy.

I wasn't saying don't get even, I was just saying be careful.
Avoid doing anything that breaks the law, otherwise she'll be grinning like a chesire cat when she phones the rozzers. Same with anything that causes any damage to her property.

Best route will be some form of psychological bullying. Maybe a sheet stuck to a roundabout somewhere saying "Happy 60th Birthday Joan Smith" with a photo next to her name, or "Joan Smith was born a man, allegedly"

Hope this helps :)

[lardhelmet]

Good luck with whatever you decide to do XmandyX (if anything)- just be careful

[beastmonkey]

they say if you seek revenge be prepard to dig two graves.

I used to think revenge was great but i eventualluy learnt that if you do this the person keeps on hurting you, DON'T LET THIS VILE PERSON TAKE UP ROOM IN YOUR LIFE OR YOUR MIND SHE IS NOT WORTH IT.

letting it go, gives you so much freedom, easier said than done, but i managed it and i spent 7 years of my life seeking revenge, before i received the information i have just mentioned, now i look back on those 7 years and think what a waste of my time, thinking about someone who wasnt worth thinking about it.

on the other hand i do still have a wicked sense of humour and would be more than willing to help a total stranger on the internet ruin the life of another person :-)

[grasscarp]

Mandy you post starts with the word Advice. You then go on to tell us some of the background and tell us that you are planning on doing something.
What advice do you want? 90% of posters have given you the advice of not to do anything. It strikes me that you dont really want advice, you want us to approve of what you have already decided you are going to do. It comes across that you want revenge for what your husband did. Why not take it out on home and leave this abandoned mistress alone. She has a child to bring up, and you continue to see this child so show a bit of maturity.

[ganesh]

You sound incredibly childish and isn't it funny how you are putting all the blame on the other woman who of course is a bitch and a bad mother. Your 'hubby' didn't think so when he had an affair with her!. Of course we don't know the whole story but how long was he with her? Long enough to know her well and long enough to want to see his child. Was the child a 'mistake' as well?
I'm sorry if I offend you,but you are either a forgiving saint (which you clearly aren't coz you want revenge) or you are stupid and blind if you don't blame your husband for feeling this way.
If you really want to stay together then calm down,forgive and forget your grievances and act like an adult because there are innocent children involved!

[bednobs]

When they had an affair, she didn't owe you anything. However HE did. It is him that has let you down, not her. If there is revenge to be dished out, it should be heading towards him not her!

[redcrx]

married 15 years. I was expecting this poster to be a lot younger.

Sorry, but you are heading along a dangerous path. Youll only cause more hurt for yourself and your child.

[society]

hope you've taken the good advice from these caring people and don't try to be revengeful. your husband created this, blame him.

[zzxxee]

you know what mandy i have been in this situation (although a child wasnt born out of the affair) i understand what you are going through , i that you want some sort of revenge, however she is probably wanting a reaction out of you
do you know the best revenge you can possibly get
to get on with your life dont bite to her venom !!!!!
let her see you are happy and can be a lady and rise above her petty nature!!!!
dont give her the reaction she is expecting it will work i promise !!! x

[yogi-bear]

I agree........forget it....forget her and move on with your life, mandy.....it will drive her crazy that you're not rising to the bait.

Revenge indeed, and you keep your dignity intact. :0)

Good luck, my lovely xx

[deannatrois]

Why give her more significance than she deserves? No good can come out of any act of revenge., because deep down u know she is just as wronged as u were when he left u (altho I realise she is easier for u to blame than your husband). I have no doubt she was told things that were untrue, made promises that proved to be unkept as he came back to u. If there are problems over this child, he has to be the one to deal with them.., u have to stand back as its his problem not yours.., so don't make it yours. Your hubby also needs to stop responding to the emotional blackmail.., it will die down eventually as long as she isn't getting the reaction she wants. Behaviour that's not rewarded can't continue forever.

[XmandyX]

PINK-KITTENS
U don't knw me so don't judge me,yes it is to do with me... my family my husband,.but i have never got involved on that side..."get it"...no i don't think so,...u don't get it....so stay out of something u know nothing about...OK!!