Sister having another baby just before my wedding!

[tgm1974]

Am I being stupid ……… I am due to get married next year in June. My sister is a bridesmaid for me along with my partners daughter and my two nieces (flower girls). I also have a 2 yr old son who will be a paige boy on the day.

My sister is 34yrs old and does want to have more children (Im 36). She has asked me if I would be upset if she was to have another baby around April/May which would probably mean the baby would be a maximum of 6-8 weeks old depending. Its not the case of her having another child that gets to me but Im more concerned about her being relaxed and enjoying the day. I know my sister and I can guarantee she would be saying “I look a fat lump” on the day. It wouldn’t be in an annoyed way that she had to try fit into a bridesmaid dress but just her general feelings would kick in. It would also mean she couldn’t really sit on the top table with me as it would be unfair of me to expect her husband to deal with my nieces and this new baby!

We haven’t had a fall out over it but in an ideal world Id prefer her to wait so Im not conscious about her enjoying the day or even have a baby now … just so it’s a little older.

Am I being selfish!!??

[ummmm]

You and your partner sound incredibly selfish.

[cherrychapstick]

so you are a little selfish as you want your sisters attention only on you , i get it now ...you have to remember though she has children and its still not fair on her hubby to be left with them all day they are still young and will be wondering where their mum is possibly crying cause they want a cuddle just so they know she still care and not ignoring them , so she will have to share her attention with them too

[Eve]

If she is the one who is concerned then it should be her decision.

It's only one day and I'm sure there will be plenty of people around to help out or she could even arrange childcare.

If she got pregnant and could potentially be ready to drop on the day then that might be a little more tricky.

As she already has children, it's not like she is having her first baby and isn't sure what to expect.

[k8bailey]

I'm due to have a baby 8 weeks-ish before my aunt and uncle get married this year, I do feel a little stressed about it, the travelling, caring for a newborn, what will I wear, how will i look etc but there will be lots of family there to help out, so hopefully it wil all go ok! Whilst I will probably be tired and not get to stay for all of the reception because I have a toddler aswell, it's not about me, it's about my aunt and uncle.

It's nice that you want your sister involved in the day and to enjoy herself but it's your wedding, don't worry about everyone else! Enjoy your day, with or without a new addition to the family.

[Nosha123]

isnt this a little hypothetical anyway.. supposing she doesnt fall pregnant exactly 10 months before your wedding day.. then this whole issue would be pointless...

and who on earth plans a pregnancy around someone elses wedding day anyway!

It might be she takes longer to fall pregnant... then you will end up with a heavily preggers bridesmaid in your photos!!! THAT WOULD be a disaster!!!!

[cazzz1975]

why does she have to ask your permission as to whether she has a baby or not? or whether you mind her having a baby..?

[Nosha123]

surely a fat bridesmaid is what every bride wants anyway - she'll make you look better in the photos!!!
;-)

Sorry- I find this thread quite funny!!!

[cherrychapstick]

nosha your bad!! but it is true although a pregnant woman differs from a fat one she will be glowing and will probably upstage the bride if she is still pregnant oh well

[cazzz1975]

put it this way, I bet the baby will last longer than the marriage ;)

[cherrychapstick]

yes that is very true ,she hasn't came back maybe didn't like the answers :))

[tgm1974]

I havent been back as I have been working nights! THANK YOU!!

I do agree that this entire thread has turned into a joke though. All I was asking was a simple question and the only real person to give me an adult reply is K8BAILEY!

I dont feel my sister would upstage me, I dont even think that way, she asked me for her own reaons so it must be playing on her mind, etc, etc.

My opinion of this site was to ask for advice ... not criticism. For the information to
cazzz1975, the only way any newborn baby my sister has that will outlive my marriage is if I die so please crawl back under your stone and stay there. I didnt realise there were soooo many vicious people out there that joke at others expense!

Thanks to those who have helped

[cherrychapstick]

no you asked the question are you being selfish we gave our opinions, so no you didnt ask for advice ,but if that is all you wanted here is my advice ,ask you sister why she would ask you that question! ,maybe she knows you better than we do (i hope so anyway)my advise on this if she is asking your permission to have a baby she must know you are going to go mental about it she is not the selfish one ,once she does get pregnant support that it is her choice

[ummmm]

Agree with Cherry. You asked if you were being selfish. The majority of people said yes you are being selfish.

Was that not what you wanted to hear?

[Connemmara]

I stepped in (wedding) for my nephew's mother 2 years ago (mother has died) and whilst I am 10 years older than my nephew's wife's mother - she had just had a baby of 6 weeks at 40 this was her 5th and believe me I could not believe it - her stomach was as flat as a pancake - truly unbelievable so maybe your sister could be like that. At weddings nobody is looking deeply at anybody else - just looking at the bride and groom.

[joko]

yes i think you are selfish too.

i unserstand you dont want any problems on the day but this is a life changing event for her, and really not your place to influence it

i do suspect she has only asked you because, really, its her way of warning you, in a roundabout kind of way, that this is what she is going to do, and wanted to warn you in advance so you wouldnt get stressed later on.

i suspect whatver answer you give her on this will be irrelevant - as its not really a true question in need of your approval/permission...

[tgm1974]

There is no issue with her having a baby - the concern is coping with both a new baby and the role of chief bridesmaid. Id just prefer her to attend as a guest if she decides to have her 3rd child so she doesnt have to worry and panic over me (as I know she will as she has said this) so Im not stopping her family extending in the slightest --- actually Im trying to avoid less stress for her!

Thank you and this is the end of this thread!