Sister having another baby just before my wedding!

[tgm1974]

Am I being stupid ……… I am due to get married next year in June. My sister is a bridesmaid for me along with my partners daughter and my two nieces (flower girls). I also have a 2 yr old son who will be a paige boy on the day.

My sister is 34yrs old and does want to have more children (Im 36). She has asked me if I would be upset if she was to have another baby around April/May which would probably mean the baby would be a maximum of 6-8 weeks old depending. Its not the case of her having another child that gets to me but Im more concerned about her being relaxed and enjoying the day. I know my sister and I can guarantee she would be saying “I look a fat lump” on the day. It wouldn’t be in an annoyed way that she had to try fit into a bridesmaid dress but just her general feelings would kick in. It would also mean she couldn’t really sit on the top table with me as it would be unfair of me to expect her husband to deal with my nieces and this new baby!

We haven’t had a fall out over it but in an ideal world Id prefer her to wait so Im not conscious about her enjoying the day or even have a baby now … just so it’s a little older.

Am I being selfish!!??

[ummmm]

Are you being selfish?

Yes.

This is her life and future you're talking about. Just get it into your head that it's your day and it's down to her and her hubby to deal with their children.

[sara3]

agreed.. and it would be wrong to not put her on the top table because she has a new baby.

[ladybird49]

My niece had a baby 6 weeks old when she was a bridesmaid for my daughter , surely family members can help with baby ?

[bednobs]

pah! I can't belive she eevn asked you if it was ok!
You might have a baby by then! She might have twins, she might be divorced!

[ummmm]

Plus time is not on her side. Fertility reduces once past 30 so she'll be better off having a baby sooner rather than later...

[ummmm]

Angel....how do you know it's a fella?

[ummmm]

Oh ok....that was obviously too hard for me to figure out....lol

[ummmm]

No, I'm just thick!!!!

[tgm1974]

Im actually female so there you go - I didnt realise I was down as a male!!

You are making me sound like some witch here. Ive told my sister it is entirely up to her what she does but I was just concerned about her enjoying the day with me rather than sorting a new born out ... along with leaving earlier than she probably would. Listen, all I want is her relaxed and happy. If she has another baby then that her responsibility. Its not a case of eggs going down hill after 30, she already has 2 children after this age .......

[jackthehat]

Are you more worried that she'll upstage you ?

As others have said 14 months is a long time and all-sorts can happen between now and then.

Focus on the things you CAN control.

[ummmm]

It's still a fact that fertility starts to decrease after the age of 30.

Do you not think that having a wanted baby would make her happier than being able to enjoy your wedding day?

[piggynose]

fella? i just clicked on tgm1974, and it says yr a female

[cherrychapstick]

yes i think it is selfish , i am also wondering why she would even ask you if you would be ok with it ...she isn't pregnant yet .Do you think it is inconsiderate of her to have a baby? i just hope your other guests don't fall pregnant in a few month that would really spoil your day

[tgm1974]

Arggghhhh NO NO NO NO NO, Im not worried she will upstage me. We dont have that kind of relationship. My sister was the one who asked me if I would be upset so she must have some feeling over a baby and my wedding to start with. She brought the subject up, not me. I didnt say "under any circumstances are you allowed to have a baby around the time I get married". Ive always known she wanted 4 children over time so its not a surprise if she fell pregnant now or later.

Ive told my partner about her question and he said he thought she was being selfish - not me. In an ideal world Id prefer her to wait on for the sheer fact that I want her to completely enjoy herself and be there for me on the day ....

When she got married I was in hospital suffering a collapsed lung. I was due to have an operation that weekend but I had a lung aspiration instead to allow me to be there ... unfortunately I was back in hospital on that Monday due to a re-collapse. Im not saying she cant do what she wants but Id rather (hand on heart) have her have a baby now or after.

Sorry if I sound bad saying that but its the first and last time I will be doing this and I just want my sisters attention that day ....... she is my chief bridesmaid and the only family member I can have!

[bibblebub]

it said male earlier