HOW IMPORTENT IS A NAN IN A CHILDS LIFE?

[postage]

How much of your own life should you give up to be a good nan

[Everhelpful]

My sentiments exactly,sara3.

[postage]

jackthehat
Surely being a good mum reflects as a good nan – vice – versa if you help your daughter then she ‘s ok to co-op with her chilld and hence happy home.

So You are the key to all success in the chain.
But who benefits in the end the child.

There I’ve answered my own question

[postage]

Surely being a good mum reflects as a good nan – vice – versa if you help your daughter then she ‘s ok to co-op with her chilld and hence happy home.

So You are the key to all success in the chain.
But who benefits in the end the child.

There I’ve answered my own question

[jackthehat]

Well, if you believes that is what constitutes being a good Nan, then you have, indeed, answered your own question.

I'd just be rather surprised if there weren't tears before bedtime somewhere along the way.

[fairycakes69]

Surely being a good mum\nan also means teaching your children to stand on their own two feet, being in the background and helping when needed. I've got 5 grown up kids, I had them young, was a stay at home mum until the youngest were 12 then I worked part time, my mum was there is give me a break when needed and had a great bond with her grand kids. I taught my kids to be independant and that I will help where I can . The more you do for them the less they will do for themselves. You working full time and then going to your daughters and cooking and cleaning for her ,to me is not helping, she needs to do it herself, yes take the grand kids to give her a break and for you to spend time with them as their nan not their mum.

[boxtops]

I agree with fairycakes - you must be shattered. Why does your daughter need you there every day to help with cooking and cleaning? Unless she has some handicap or problem, this is what married women have to learn to cope with for themselves. If I were her husband (and this is not meant unkindly) I too would mind, I couldn't stand the thought of my own MIL coming round every day. When do you have time for your own life, to recover from your own working day? Your daughter should have to learn to fit everything in herself - you are making a rod for your own back. How does your being there directly help the child?
Another thought though - do you live on your own, does going to your daughter's fill a gap in your own life for company after work?

[jomifl]

Not having had my grandparenting gene switched on I can only look on with a kind of morbid fascination as countless grandparents dedicate their remaining years on this planet to look after and spoil their ungrateful grandchildren.
I don't think that children young enough to be 'looked after' by grandparens can benefit very much from their wisdom, philosophy or experience of life. At that age chidren's needs are rather more immediate.

[hannah40]

i like to see my son and daughter in law and there children ,i wouldnt give up work to look after there children as i find it very hard work trying to entertain children all day.I would babysit but prefer them to stay at my house .they are a family unit of there own and i like to spend time with all of them.

[puma86]

As boxtops said, Why does your daughter need all this help from you??
You mention that you work full time, does she work? Does her partner?
I cannot see why she would need you to do all this for her - unless of course as also mentioned by BT she is disabled.

[bednobs]

even if she was disabled - so what?
i am going to soon be a disabled mum, but wouldn't expect my mum to come round every day (not just cause she lives 70 miles away)!
What is co-op? do you mean cope?

[LoftyLottie]

I don't think any expectations should be put on grandparents whatseover. I personally agree with jno on the first page.

[dotty.]

I delivered my grandson at the hospital as the midwife was absent, he lived with us until he was 18 months and then he only lived with us from Monday to Friday until he was at school, then he lived with us Friday until Monday. He is nearly 12 and loves me to bits and I love him so much but don;t see him as much now as I work every other weekend but he is here every other weekend. We play chess, Monopoly and he watches films with me, he's a little star. I gave up an awful lot at short notice to be there for my son and his GF when they finally let it be known she was 32 weeks pregnant and in Y9. It was hectic and crazy, this time around we are all experiencing parts of the process that we missed with my grandson. It's awesome,.

[LoftyLottie]

Bednobs. You are soon to become a Mum again? I didn't realise. Congratulations. x

[bednobs]

thanks so much LL - just that 1 word "again" really made my day. evryone else seems to have forgotten

[boxtops]

Not forgotten bednobs, other people's time just seems to fly by? How long now?

[bednobs]

yes i agree - why should anyone else care anyway? i don't mean they dont care just that they are not stuck in the moment like me i suppose.
I am 21 weeks pg now, and Heather was born 7 months ago

[mazie]

You're going to have your hands full bednobs...in the nicest possible way..Congrats xxx

[boxtops]

Ah bednobs - I'm sure it's not "not care", more "not realise" - there is so much else going on. Not for you though - I know I am so pleased for you. Very poignant for you, though...

[mazie]

We are all stuck in the moment.....sometimes it's good, sometimes, it's not

[bednobs]

definatel;y mixed emotions. I haven't really told anyone in real life yet, as i just don't want people either thinking it was too quick, or that everything is now ok because i'm pregnant again, and that it's not hard and painful every day still