What do I legally have to tell my ex

[Boobars]

Hi,

What do I legally have to tell my ex regarding the kids that I have with him.

He believes that I legally have to tell him everything even the mundain parts of life.

I believe that it is just the following,

1. If I move their school

2. If I move house , like wise if he moves

3. If the children are having an operation in hospital.

I dont think that I have to tell him about doctors and dentist appointments before it happens or who I wish them to meet. howeever if I wrong then can some one let me know.

Tried googling it but cannt find it.

Thanks

[murraymints]

dpends on whether you have formal agreement in place...

[RATTER15]

Agreed ^^^^^^^

[hazel999]

I don't know the in's and out's of the legal side of thing's but surely unless it's something of importance (moving house/schools) you shouldn't have to tell him anything.

[chelle7272]

If he has equal parental responsibility (if you marries at the time of the births) then he has equal rights in making any decisions. otherwise, as murraymints said.

[joeluke]

He's the childrens father, do you not think he should know what's happening in their lives?

[Buenchico]

If you were married at the time of a child's birth, your ex automatically has 'parental responsibility'. He'll also have parental responsibility if the child was born after ***1st December 2003 and you jointly registered the child's birth, OR if you've entered into a formal parental responsibility agreement with him, OR if a court has awarded him parental responsibility
(**** That date applies if you're in England or Wales. For births registered in Scotland it's 4th May 2006. For Northern Ireland it's 15th April 2002).

Assuming that your ex has parental responsibility, then BOTH of you have the right to be involved in the following:
providing a home for the child ;
having contact with and living with the child ;
protecting and maintaining the child ;
disciplining the child ;
choosing and providing for the child's education ;
determining the religion of the child ;
agreeing to the child's medical treatment ;
naming the child and agreeing to any change of the child's name ;
accompanying the child outside the UK and agreeing to the child's emigration, should the issue arise ;
being responsible for the child's property ;
appointing a guardian for the child, if necessary ;
allowing confidential information about the child to be disclosed ;

http://www.direct.gov...entsRights/DG_4002954

Also (assuming that your ex has parental responsibility), if you have a residence order for each of your children, you can take them out of the country for up to one month at a time, without your ex's consent. (Attempting to take them abroad for a longer period, without his consent, is a serious criminal offence). If you don't have residence orders for all of your children it's illegal for you take your children out

[Buenchico]

. . of the UK at all (even for a day trip) without your ex's consent:
http://www.direct.gov...ildpassport/DG_174106

Chris

[rockyracoon]

Who decides what's mundane, I would certainly want to know if my child had to visit a doctor. If he still lived with you he would know the in's and out's of their lives so why should it be any different now he's not.

[annie0000]

Most responses other than the ones giving specific information seem to be commenting that the OP should be disclosing all this info to her ex as he is the childrens' father and she should therefore keep him updated on everything going on in their lives. Whilst I don't dispute that in a civilised split that should be the case, you have to consider that maybe the father walked out on his kids and that in my view would be his choice and therefore he can't have his cake and eat it. Also, if he has contact with them, should he have to detail exactly how they spent their time back to the OP?

[Boobars]

Thanks for that Guys, lot clearer He has always been around a dutifully came to collect them every Fiday and bring them back every sunday. not phoning or seeing them in between that time ( his choice he had all numbers and kids had their own mobiles) UNTIL I moved my new partner in, then he wanted to see thenm during the week which I thought was great may I say. but then it was at a drop of a hat, getting very upset if we had things planned. he has never once taken any notice in doctors dentist or school, unless hes trying to prove a point.

Hes very controlling and its his way or the high way thats why we are divorced, but he trys to control me through the children. his jealousy is rather distructive saying nasty things about me to the kids and sending me texts saying that Im a bad mother and that if I dont inform him of this that and the other he'll contact social serivices and come and take the kids. thier 10 and 12 they are being pulled this way and that and rightly want to see him more, my eldest who's nearly 13 chooses which house he sleeps at and this at the moment is week on week of or their abouts. I just wish that he would realise if he treated the situation with the honey from the bee instead of the sting things would of been so much better, some days I cannt wait for my kids to get to the age of 18 so that I dont have to deal with the man. very sad situation.

I know that I chose to have kids with him but he changed drematically once we had children CONTROLLING and AGRESSIVE.

[murraymints]

i think fight fire with fire....if you really bombard him with the daily trivia of looking after kids he will lose interest very soon...he is insecure and sounds like he regrets being such a pain in the *****