Toddlers napping!!! What would you do?

[nellypope]

I am at my wits end! My 18 month old's routine is set in stone, she is a happy girl. She has never napped much (1 x hour nap after lunch) and would go to bed at 7:30 no problems and not wake up till 7:30 next morning. However she seems to want to stop napping completely (the naps just got shorter and shorter) but my health visitor says she's too young to go without a nap (apparently they're supposed to have 2-3 hours nap a day and 12 hours at night!??) but even if I enforce a short 20 min nap it eats severely into going to bed time! She can go without a nap, but she sorta lulls around 3-4pm, but if I keep her awake she sleeps from 7-7. If she naps she won't sleep till 9-10 at night, still waking at 7! . . . Do I listen to my health visitor and lose my evenings or not? . . . What would you do?

[jackthehat]

You know your own child better than the Health Visitor.

Ensure that she has a quiet relaxing time about her nap-time......if she's going to nod off, she will.......and if she doesn't, she doesn't.

[sherrardk]

Listen to yourself - you know your daughter far better than the Health Visitor. If she can get through the day without a nap and sleeps well in the night then cut out the nap. My youngest children (twins) haven't had a day time nap since they were about 18 months although the girl will sometimes nod off about 4 o'clock (I give her a tip top/ice pop thing and it wakes her up enough to keep her going till bedtime).

[albaqwerty]

First of all, who is the mother ? You or the HV.?

If your child is happy, healthy and thriving, your child will do what they do. (One of mine refused to nap during the day, fell asleep in his dinner and we had a wonderful time between 10pn and 3pm for about 4 months)

[pretty_snowdrop]

If your little girl doesn't want a nap, then don't make her have one. You will probably find that some days she will want one and others she won't. I think it is best not to upset the bedtime routine. All children vary, my kids at 18 months probably slept for about 1hr max. Don't worry about the health visitor, she is young by any chance?

[cazzz1975]

all kids are different, 2-3 hours a day nap on top of 12 hours sleep seems quite excessive! I personally wouldnt force the naps if your daughter is growing out of them. let her needs guide you.

[pretty_snowdrop]

^^^I meant to say, is she young..^^^

[boxtops]

Above all, you don't want to make the nap-time an issue with your little girl. Sleeping is a joy not a punishment - if she doesn't want to doze, don't force it. As others say, you know your daughter, if she's well and happy and the routine is acceptable, go with it.

[albaqwerty]

Please excuse this question, I've only just noticed, her routine is set in stone?

Your darling daughter is not a statue, you are her mum and lay down gudelines along with loads of hugs and kisses at her age.

There will be some very stern quidelines as she gets older tho :D

[nellypope]

Many thanks to you all for confirming my thoughts! :-) she will happily stay awake with snacks and fresh air, and I feel that seeing as she sleeps so well at night it would be wrong to upset the bedtime routine! My HV just wants an easy run of it, reciting pamphlets verbatim! I would much rather lose the nap, than lose easy bedtimes and quality time with my husband :-)

[sherrardk]

Hi Alba - my routine is set in stone and whilst it is not something I did with the three eldest children I find it really works for us now. If it's 7 o'clock then the four youngest are in their pj's, if it's 5.15 then it's tea time, etc. We do deviate now and then - if we have a day out, etc.

[nellypope]

Will do albaquerty! I have noticed that she is changing the running order somewhat lately, which is fine. :-)

[k8bailey]

My little girl was the same as yours by the sounds of it, by 18 months even a 10 minute nap would see her an hour late for bed, then up at the same time. When they sleep that well at night, some of them just don't need a daytime nap too. Go with your instincts, mum usually knows best! :)

[albaqwerty]

sherr I didn't mean to offend you and my apologies if I did. xx

[nellypope]

Did you all find that when toddlers stop napping, it's quite intermittent? Or did they just stop? ( this is my first ;-) )

[pretty_snowdrop]

Mine stopped gradually. My youngest is nearly four and every now and again she will fall to sleep in the afternoon but it is rare now. x

[maggie21]

No I wouldn't listen to the health visitor,you know your child better then any HV, your child will decide for themselves if they feel tired and just nod off regardless what they are doing,neither of mine ever had 3 naps a day. go by your own instincts.

[sherrardk]

Hi Alba, please don't worry about it as you haven't offended me at all. I just found it easier to have a strict routine with the two little ones and it kind of overtook everything else. I find I have loads of time to do stuff with them all because I am so organised (almost to the point of obsession!) yet I am not stressed out trying to get everything done.

[albaqwerty]

It's intermittent. Suggest you listen to Sheerad and Red. They are lovely mums

(I'm a decrepit one, youngest is 17)

[DTCwordfan]

let her stay up. We had this with my youngest who has a seriously high IQ - she isn't hyperactive or anything, but from about the same age, she didnt require the afternoon nap and, yes, if she did it would impact on her night sleep. Our Doc (in the States) backed our view to keep her awake but to have quiet time and she could read a book - she was reading at 3 - at 18 months she would quietly play (pigs being a huge thing) or look at books, a Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) book on shapes being one of her favourites.

We had a big punch up with her first school about this and led a rebellion of like-minded parents and the schoopl did, eventually, accept that there were a number of kids like her, again the solution being quiet time but no nap.

[jno]

it's not really you or the HV who will decide on nap times, it's your daughter. If she wants one, she'll fall asleep; if she doesn't, she won't. It should only be an issue if her sleeping patterns are actually causing her difficulty; if she's happy and healthy, leave her to it.