help for family with mother in prison?

[k8bailey]

I know of a woman with 5 kids (aged aprox 13-2yrs) by two fathers, she is about to go to prison for 12-18 months for assault (long story). The 1st father, of the two older kids isn't around anymore, all 5 have been brought up by the second father. The mum and dad have recently split up. He works with my partner as a labourer, money's not great and since the split he's been living with friends and family.

When the Mum goes to prison what happens to the kids? The dad wants to to take care of them but doesn't drive and feels that he'll have to give up work to do this....surely there must be a better option / some help available to keep him in work? His mum and sister are local. I'm not sure about the situation with his mother, but his sister already has 2 kids so can't offer much help.

Don't know if the mum has any family who could or would help out.

[bednobs]

they will probably be fostered. If no-one in the family can/will do it, they will most likely go to other homes

[emmie]

Has he tried contacting social services, or CAB for advice?

[factor-fiction]

I would have thouf=ght social services would have been involved- I can't imagine that mums are taken off to prison and children are left to look after themselves without someone from the authorities being involved. Are social services involved?

[k8bailey]

they only found out this afternoon so he hasn't had a chance to talk to / see anyone yet, but will suggest that he does speak to SS and CAB.

He'll take care of them, but it seems ridiculous that he has to give up his job to do so!

[k8bailey]

tbh I imagine that ss are already involved, she seriously tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago - spent 3 weeks in hospital afterwards

[Bobbisox]

K8 the SS would have to be informed when the sentence on the Mum was passed I would think, the Judge would have been informed of family

[mike11111]

Sorry to hijack the thread for a bit but Bobbi, get rid of that avatar NOW. I'm having nightmares and I'm not asleep yet!

[Squitty]

I cant help thinking that the best answer(for the children) might be placing the them in long term care.

[k8bailey]

that's awful, the dad's not perfect but he works, wants to care for them and he is great with them, even the two who aren't biologically his. What a cr*p system! Where is the help for the people who are willing to pull thier weight?!

[redcrx]

what would he want to help him do this though?
he would be entitled to the child benefit, the child tax credit(to help towards child care) and i presume some sort of counselling support from SS .

is he expecting more to help out his own children?

[bednobs]

i don't really understand what the problem is - i guess that he still couldn't drive when they actually lived together yet still worked?

[bondgirl007]

maybe his job could give him a couple of months leave to try and sort something out ?

[k8bailey]

Red, you're right he'd only be doing what lots of single mothers/fathers are already doing - taking care of his children. He will and should be entitled to the same help/support as other single parents.

I think 3 of the kids go to school, so he'd need childcare for the youngest two, 5 days a week and before/after school for the others, because of his working hours. I suppose he's also technically homeless right now although he could move back to the family home.

It sounds like he would be financially better off giving up work instead of paying for child care. - It's that, that annoys me, just seems a bit backwards to me, people should be better off with a job!

[ummmm]

If he's entitled to tax credits he'll be entitled to help with child care costs.

[k8bailey]

sorry the other answers weren't there when I started typing. No he's never been able to drutthe kids mother could and did all the picking up dropping off of the kids at school etc.

He works for a v.small building firm, neither he nor his boss could afford for him to have time off, and because he can't drive and has to be picked up/dropped off he couldn't do different hours either.

[PringlesQueen]

There is a really good site which has forums which may be able to answer some more questions for you here: http://www.prisonersfamilies.org.uk/

[k8bailey]

thanks everyone - I'll pass on the advice and links