help with teenage son

[lorna12]

hi there my son is 17 and now wants to leave collage do in a corse he dos not like but i have spoke to them and if he can turn up and show willing thay said thay will help him get the corse he wants but he still sayes i dont want to go back and point blank refuses to lisen to any one includeing friends and other family members he does not want to do much apart from go a round with older friend on motorbikes and drinking we do make him do things around the house and we have most meals to gether and only give him money for collage dinners he has adhd witch we thought was under control and has dyslexia he had help wih his both all threw school and we paid for extra help with his dyslexia .so far we have taken his phone off him and tryed to talk to him but still no responce have money problems like most at the moment we stand to lose £100 pound a week if he leaves but dont want to put this on him as aded pressure any help with this

[tenrec]

One of mine did exactly the same. He dropped out, but he is now a very responsible adult with a very good job. Good luck.

[woofgang]

I think once he is 16 you can't make him stay

[daffy654]

Tell him that he can't leave college until he has a wage coming in.

[woofgang]

short of marching him there every day how can you make him go to college and while he is in there, how can you make him learn anything?

[LoftyLottie]

4grace4. Some people cannot spell for various reasons. It makes you look extremely rude to make comments like this. AB is about questions and answers and not about correct English, spelling and punctuation. Lorna's son is dyslexic. Perhaps lorna is as well. But that is not the point.

[tinkerbell23]

What has spelling got to do with it Grace?

Glad I am not judgemental ..... Uurgh!!

Good luck with your son though- xxx

[B00]

At risk of sounding awful, and forgive me if this isn't the case...but I couldn't help but think that you only want your son to continue doing the course so that you don't lose the money.

[Sqad]

Aged 17 years...."You can lead a horse to water........"

The prognosis is poor, so cut him loose now and put it down to experience.........cut your losses.

[annie0000]

He is well old enough to understand that you are concerned about the money that will be stopped, but equally it is not his job to support you. He does however need to be able to support himself.

Tell him that you stand to lose income and that has to be replaced. If he can get a job then he is welcome to stay at home and contribute. Otherwise, if he is staying at home then he better buckle down at college or leave and support himself in whichever way he sees fit.

He is effectively an adult now so lay it straight on the line.

[cathfromsaron]

even if he stays he won't pass if he doesn't enjopy the subject!

why not let him do something he does enjoy ... and he has to live within your means if your income drops £100!

[lorna12]

thank you all for the responce . its not the money thats important as i am looking for work myself. its just getting through to him as the collage are willing to help him and put a good word for him.he only has 8 weeks left and wants to reapply for the course he wants next year but if he cant finish this one.it wont look good if he is going to reapply next year he is not looking for a job just sitting around mates hopeing a job falls at his feet wish it was that easy he wont talk about it and its the lieing about going thats the point and how the collage responded at the meeting this was a very goodthing but he still refuses to go

[chattykathy]

It's really difficult because you can see the mistakes he is making. He needs to know that if he wants to act as an adult then he needs to take responsibility as one. If he gives up just for the sake of 8 weeks then he has to accept he will not be getting any money from you - you will have to stick to this by the way - and will jeopardise his chances of getting on the course of his choice. It sounds like you and your family have tried to talk sense into him but maybe give it one more go and at a time when you think he will be most responsive. The best of luck to you ;-)

[jkelly24]

I agree with tenrec my son didn't want to go to college but he did want a job. It was pointless us forcing him because he just wouldn't have turned up. My son got himself a good job without going to college so don't assume he will fail in life without a college course. His happiness should surely come before the money you are losing.