Unruly son

[BigDogsWang]

My 7 year old son (only child) is constantly in trouble at School for hurting other children. My wife and I are at the end of our tether because we cannot work out why he is doing it. He is a lovely, happy, confident and loving child, and the love he receives from his family is immeasurable. His diet contains no nasty additives, and we do not smack him, although we do warn him that if he continues, we will. He used to be under the Doctor, but was taken off the register 6 months back as his behaviour had improved. But since his 7th birthday back in May, the reports coming from his school are horrendous, with incidents of unprovoked punching and pinching. The last thing I want is to put him on Retinol, as I don't believe in drugs being used on children for behavioural reasons. He knows what he does is wrong but doesn't know why he does it (sometimes he just sits there and lashes out without reason). Do I start smacking him (does this lower me to his level?), or is there some other way of getting him to respect his fellow classmates?

[BigDogsWang]

LordyGeorgie - appreciate the input, however it's much easier said than done. I arrived home last night (after being told he had been suspended) pumped up and ready for action. Dragged him upstairs and began to pull his trousers down. His poor little face would have melted the heart of the hardest b@rstard, and he pleaded with me not to and burst into tears, crying 'Daddy I'm so sorry'. Call me a softy, but when your own child does that....... (and it wasn't an act).

[justineo]

This is just a suggestion but you said that he goes to football and Beavers club.  Do you think it would have any impact if he was stopped from going, as a punishment?  But, if you think it's a psychological problem, punishing him can't really help, can it?

[kaktus]

Ok first of all I have no children so I have no experience in raising them, I can only offer my opinion.
I don't think smacking will help in anyway. As someone said (sorry can't remember who) it just shows that is alright to smack. To me it sounds like some sort of psychological problem and that it would definitely be worth a visit to a doctor you trust and who won't just take the easy way out. If he is above average with his schoolwork he might be bored and with (maybe) an aggressive streak he turns to smacking and spitting when he has nothing to do, so a school change might help too. I mean to a place where they are better at differentiate the lessons.
I think that the martial arts suggestion is very good I just wouldn't go for Karate unless you're certain that the instructor is good! Instead I would recommend Judo; it teaches self-defence, discipline and is a very good form of martial arts for children. Both my brother and I did Judo because my father (who has the black belt in karate and has taught it, now teaches Tai Chi and has looked in to Aikido, judo, kung fu) said it was the best for children.
Ok I know there isn't much in my post that hasn�t already been said. Sorry about talking about my dad's martial arts expertise - just wanted to show that he has a good deal of knowledge in the area.
I really hope this works out for you and your son!

[BigDogsWang]

Once again, thanks for your answers everyone. he is back at school today after his suspension and some serious words. So lets see how he gets on.