Confused And Frustrated!!!

[lsharp]

hi all...will try and keep it as sweet and simple :)
basically, me and my ex partner who is the father of my children(4 and 1) split in feb of this year...we got on well still and he stayed over a few nights a week, we still went out with the kids etc but never had any intimacy.
in late october, he decided to tell me he likes my neighbour who lives directly opposite me...he took her for a drink and 3 weeks later they became a couple!
as you can imagine this broke my heart and i took it very badly :( we argued, i wanted to kill the girl nearly did!! anyway...we r now 2 months later and a couple of days ago he rang my best friend in tears telling her how he regrets everything, loves me to pieces, misses me and the boys and all the family time etc...he then told his girlfriend that evening and obv she got very upset apparently, next day he came round to see the boys and told me what he had told my friend....i told him after everything we have been through im willing to give it my ultimate best to try again but he just kept saying, he would love to come home but knows it wont last etc! the subject of kids came up and i most fear him having another child with her as he knows how much i wanted one more with him obviously, he then told me he dont want anymore kids as he cant imagine having them with anyone else! i said what about when the gf wants kids and he said well i def wont b giving her them!! i woke up this morning to a txt saying ok lovely and kisses(answering my txt) and a voicemail of him saying he cares about all of us and hope im ok!! he was drunk but still!! im so confused as to why the gf is still in the picture after he has told her all this...id be running!! what do i do :( i was hurting enough and he has made it worse now knowing how he feels too!! sorry for essay!!

[woofgang]

sorry, what is your question?

[tamborine]

difficult for you to let him back but do the kids rely on him? Kids are often the most affected at breakups. How would you feel having another man rearing your kids? Would another man take on your kids?

Lots for you to consider. Good luck

[joeluke]

It's called having your cake and eating it

[B00]

"im so confused as to why the gf is still in the picture after he has told her all this...id be running!!"

Well that was you a few months ago, but you didn't run either did you?

He needs the ultimatum sooner rather than later which is "her or me, and now"

If he comes back to you, you can make it work, but i'd think about moving away from the same street as his ex.

Good luck :-)

[Dee Sa]

sit him down, make sure he is sober and tell him his fortune ! i.e. we can become a family again but here are my conditions :-
1.you break off all contact with the neighbour/new girl friend
2.we move
3........add whatever you want to happen now, don't be a doormat
you are in the stronger position and make sure he realises this you may never get another opportunity to get what you want, take control now and definitely don't let him back in your bed until all is settled between you.
Good luck and I hope you have a good xmas

[pixie373]

I am a little sceptical that he is saying this while he is not only drunk- but Christmas is coming up and his children are with you. He may be being a little more nostalgic than usual. I agree, have a proper talk with him and tell him to make his mind up. He's being very unfair.