ocd

[stressedout]

How do I deal with my 11 yr old boy's slight bedtime checking habits?

[nfn]

what is it that he checks?

[stressedout]

He checks the bathroom door handle again & again (he said it pings it the night and wakes him so we now leave the door open) he had to have everything "just so" in his room: curtains, books, slippers etc etc. If I go in to say goodnight and even touch anything once its been arranged he has to do it all again.He's only been doing this for about 3 or 4 months. He is a lovely lad. Said he's fine about everything and no worries (and we know our kids don't we, he really is fine) Wonder if its just a personality trait. He used to have night terrors real bad from 6yrs to about 9yrs.

[curiosity]

I'm sure you are right and he's fine. Have you asked him (gently, informally) what would happen if things weren't that way? that might help you understand how much (if any) of aproblem it is for him.

[Emily Ball]

It's interesting that you say your son had night terrors for a couple of years. If he had a recurrence of bad dreams prior to the kind of behaviour you describe it may be that his carefully ordered  bedtime rituals are his antidote  to something he has no control over, namely the bad dreams. It is not unusual for any of us, including children, to go through similar rituals but we are not necessarily suffering from OCD. Familiar and oft -repeated routine is comforting and reassuring, especially before going to bed. 

[Adi's mom]

Although your son could be just following a a bedtime ritual which could be comforting for him, but the sound of it, makes me feel it is OCD. BEcause he compulsively has to have things in same order, even mom shd. not touch it!!!

I have handeled OCD very closely, and can understand your dilemma and the child's confusion and suffering ( believe me these rituals can be tiring for the individual)

PLEASE CONSULT a Physicia, who will refer you to a good Psychiatrist and a psuchotherapist. In the treatment of OCD medicine and counselling work hand in hand, and they are the only way out. You CANNOT just wish OCD away!!!

help your child as soon as possible, the earlier it is handeled the better it is. You can always come back for advice.

[jake-the-peg]

This sort of obsession with everything being just so can also be associated with the various Autism spectrum disorders but I would expect to see that during the rest of the day too and not just at bedtime.

Adi's mom is right. Go see your GP and get a referal to see a specialist. I'm no expert but I'd guess these things are best tackled early 

[Lore]

I was thinking along the same lines as Jake-the-peg but leaning more towards Asperger's syndrome.  I would keep an eye on daytime routines/rituals and see if there's a specific pattern he follows.  Keep a record of your findings and seek professional advice for peace of mind if nothing else.

It could be that your son has something on his mind and needs some reassurance.

[georgit79]

My brother had ocd in a mild form from the age of about 6 or 7. It should be recognised and treated, or it will only get worse over time, as my family have learnt with my brother. He is now 21 and it recently affected his university exams to such an extent that he couldn't even complete one paper as he kept rubbing stuff out and starting again. To cut a long story short, he didn't get the grades he needed for medical school, and it was only a combination of sheer good luck and determination and bloodymindedness on my stepdad's part that got him a place on a course.

His habits got worse over the years, and more to the point they got more annoying. The more you notice this stuff, the more you can't help but get annoyed with him and I'm guilty of screaming at him more than once in the past. The habits will affect others at some point if they are left to get out of hand. OCD is an illness, and should be identified as such. It's such a shame, as my brother is such a lovely, well-rounded guy but has these habits he can't shift. However, he is now seeing a counsellor who is a great help.

I say that you should keep an eye on your son- if he gets worse, then I would consult a doctor about it. However, it could just be a phase he's going through, in which case these little habits will disappear over time.

Good luck!