3 Year Old Son Has Mood Swings

[andydingdangdoo]

Hi,

I like every parent am sure there is nothing wrong with my son but I would appreciate advice from someone who may have been through the same thing.

Basically my son has a real Jekyll and Hyde personality, he is either really sweet and loving or the devil. When he is in a bad mood he hits, bites scratches, screams and anything else until he has worn himself out and then he goes back to being good.

He is always quite defensive with other children and when we got to soft play and doesn't like anyone coming into his space which can be embarrassing. Although he doesn't really hit out at other kids he would push them away and he blocks the path. He is clever and capable but is slow in his speech and so I am wondering if this is all a frustration of not being able to communicate properly although He has an older sister who was also slow with speech but is sweet and lovely and never had any of this.

We are careful to not spoil him and are always quick to tell him that he shouldn't hit but also careful to not tell him off or shout at him, we prefer to say look how you have hurt me or them, and ask him to be nice......

Any help appreciated, are there parents who have had kids go through this and what techniques did they employ? Could it be something in his diet? Are there games or things we could do with him?

It tough to think he will just grow out of it and for the next few years we have to just keep pulling him away from situations.....seems a tough way for him to develop.

Thanks

[woofgang]

How has he got on in his developmental assessments? Have you discussed this with a child health professional? Intelligence plus meltdowns plus space issues plus communication issues says possibly autistic spectrum to me.

[boxtops]

Do you still see the health visitor? I'd mention this to them.

[bednobs]

you never tell him off???

[DaisyD]

We went through something similar with our son who's now nearly 7 - aggressive bahaviour, delayed speech, disliking other children in his space. I was told that boys get surges of testosterone as they go through growth spurts, this can lead to bouts of aggressive behaviour. Here's what I found worked best:
Stay calm when he kicks off (easier said than done I know).
Be really clear about what is, and is not, acceptable behaviour.
Give warnings, then consequences, when he crosses the line (example - if my son deliberately hurt another child in the park, we went home immediately).
Don't threaten something you're not really going to follow through on.
Be consistant in how you manage his behaviour (discuss strategies with others who care for him).
Praise the positive behaviour (this is so important but really easy to overlook), make a big fuss of him when he behaves in a way that you want to encourage.
If you want to discuss his behaviour with him, only attempt to do so when he's calm.
I went on a brilliant parenting course based on 'The incredible Years' book by Caroline Webster-Stratton.
If this phase shows no sign of abating then seek some help. My son's just been diagnosed as ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) - I am not suggesting that this is the case with your son, as in normal development boys often go through the phase you have described.