Grandparent Boundaries

[FLH1983]

Is it weird for a "grandmother" to ask to insist on coming to visit from out of state for a week, not even 3 full weeks after you have a C-section, ask if your baby (that you breastfeed) can sleep in the room with her and her husband at night, ask if she can take your 3 week old baby in the shower with her, get mad and sit and pout when your family comes over for dinner and spends alot of time that evening holding your baby instead of her, and then constantly get you to leave your house?

[Prudie]

Weird is an understatement, almost sinister.

[hellywelly4]

Very strange behaviour.

[Samuraisan]

Yes. Certainly not what grandmothers should be there for. She should be there at your beck and call, for a while anyway.

[EDDIE51]

Is this her 1st grandchild?
She needs to be told some basic rules. Child sleeps with the mother as it is being breastfed , young babies do not take showers, they are bathed in a baby bath. Other relatives want to spend time with the child as well as her.
I do not get the bit about trying to get you to leave the house!

[FLH1983]

Thank you all for your input! I am SO glad to receive the validation. No, this is not her first grandchild, she's had 6 already. This is just the tip of the iceberg of how WEIRD she is!

[EDDIE51]

I have 12 grandchildren myself so me and my OH are 'old hands' but that is way OTT !

[FLH1983]

Not sure what you're supposed to mean by that, "I take it you're American" -- first of all that's rude and insulting, secondly, am I "weird" for not being ok with this, or is she weird for her behavior?

[jno]

yes, weird. You stay in your house; she can go.

[jourdain2]

To come and visit, yes of course it's OK, but I'd book myself into a B&B if you'd had a C-section. The rest - no.

[EDDIE51]

If she has 6 grandkids she probably thinks she 'knows it all' .
I would take a heavy bet she secretly thinks she knows better than you what is 'best for the child'.
She has to be told firmly but kindly that you appreciate that she wants to help but if you do need help you will ask for it.

[Prudie]

Many grannies think they know best (and often do) but it's not normal to want the baby in bed or in the shower with them.

[Baldric]

Very strange requests imo!

[Canary42]

Your "grandmother" - why the quotes incidentally - certainly sounds really really odd.

[MallyJ]

I think you would be sensible to ask her to leave so that you and your partner can bond with YOUR child.... it has been lovely to see you and thank you for all your help BUT..... I do wonder whose parent she is...I am guessing not yours ... nevertheless to whomever she belongs both you and your babies father need to work together to ensure you both have a smooth journey into parenthood. I suspect that would be without her assistance! Oh and enjoy your baby.

[lynbrown]

Have a word with the mothers of some of her other grandchildren and see how she acted towards them. They may have answers that could help you to get rid of her.