to tell or not to tell.

[wendilla]

My daughter is getting married I am divorced from her dad who is giving her away.Problem is she is inviting an x ladyfriend of his that was always good to her and always kept in contact.Does she tell her dad before about this or on the day. We have thought on the day on way to church . I have no problem with her or my x I can speak to them both.would value any comments. thanks.

[maggie01]

I don't think its a good idea to spring any suprises on anyone on the day. I would tell him at least a few weeks before to get used to the idea. Its your daughters day and I would think your ex husband would not want to let anything spoil it for her. As there will probably be a lot of people at the wedding, he needs only to be polite to thislady if he has a problem with her and move on and talk to the rest of the guests. For one day your daughters feelings must come first.  Have a great day

[Cathy]

Wow, that IS tricky, isn't it? My gut feeling would be to tell him before and give him time to get used to the idea. He might be upset if you spring this on him on the day and could cause bad feeling. If he's the sort of person who would make a big fuss about this it might be an idea to remind him that it's his daughter's special day and that he needs to be a grown up about it. After all he doesn't have to have anything to do with the woman, does he? As you're on good terms with her, maybe you could mention to her that you'd appreciate her keeping out of his way (if it's a problem for him).

[wendilla]

thanks both for your replies it does seem the best thing to do BUT he doesnt know my daughter has always been in contact with her she does not have a problem him being there and will keep out of his way i am sure.Thinking of what you have both said  it may be best to just leave it a week or two before will let my daughter see this thanks

[wendilla]

and thanks to your reply in a pickle you all have same idea