Crossed The Line ?

[tamaris]

My neighbour has been through a lot of trauma over the last three years. She was allotted a councillor. The councller left to have a baby but they started a friendship. Gifts were exchanged before she went on maternity leave. They met up for lunch etc every couple weeks, although they lived about 30 mile apart before and after the baby was born. The councillor called her nanny and mummy. She was about 30 years my neighbours junior. The baby had a few problems with his health. One day out of the blue the neighbour got a text saying she wanted space from the relationship because my neighbour (had been very I'll with depression and) had not said Happy Birthday to the child or asked after his health on his first birthday. My neighbour sent an email saying she had been in bed that day but had sent him a card and baked a cake and bought him a learning toy for his birthday. She has not had a response at all. My neighbour is devasted.

[murraymints]

ungrateful so and so..never good to let professional relationship become personal though.... back off, draw a line and move on

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe the (ex)councillor has issues of her own, and is simply misplacing cause of how she feels. Things happen in life; best to try not to take it too personally even if blamed. Suggest to your neighbour that the issue isn't with her but her friend, and maybe her friend does need space for now to work out her stresses for herself. If her friend wants to make contact later, she will. Meanwhile to concentrate on her own life and ensure there's enough in it that it doesn't rely on one relationship to be satisfying.

[1ozzy]

Not much of a councilor, your neighbour should move on in life.

[NoMercy]

The Counsellor could do with a little counselling by the sound of it. Unprofessional and ungrateful are two words that spring to mind.

[waterboatman]

I agree NM.

[Sqad]

"She was allotted a councillor. The councller left to have a baby but they started a friendship. "

I have read you post a dozen times, but it is perhaps it is too early in the morning as i cannot understand the relationships.

Are they lesbians?

[1ozzy]

Sqad!!!

Take two Ibuprofen's and re-connect to the thread ;-/

[Sqad]

Ozzy....read my first quote again.....

"She was allotted a councillor. The councller left to have a baby but they started a friendship. "

She and the councillor are the same sex ......surely?

[murraymints]

they became friends Sqad..nothing more...:0)

[Old_Geezer]

Friendship doesn't necessary imply a sexual relationship. That's not how she got the baby. I think the neighbour simply relies too much on a single friend to make her life pleasant. So is devastated.

[Sqad]

Ah! right...........right.........is it a big deal?

[Old_Geezer]

Sqad may have crossed the line, but I suspect he was just trying to understand why it was so devastating. Losing a friend is sad, losing a lover would have been more so.

[tamaris]

The lady in question has few friends and valued this one as she had lost confidence OG

[murraymints]

are there any day centre clubs etc around that she could attend ?
mixing with others in similar circumstances would be ideal

[tamaris]

Not sure MM I don't know her too well

[pastafreak]

I admit to needing to read the first few sentences several times in order to make sense of it. Then, my first thought was that it wasn't a good idea to go from a counselor/client relationship to one of friends. It's not uncommon to develop feelings...and I don't mean sexual ones...for some one who is caring, helpful, and gives advice. It's best to keep it professional, and I think it was wrong for the counsellor to encourage this in any way.

[NoMercy]

Tamaris, what you said to Sqad was unnecessary and totally wrong. Your original post could have been worded more clearly.