The Jelly Baby

[Rondy]

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a
few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new
club, fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre,
I always end up getting my head kicked in." So Smartie says "Don't worry
about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."
Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long
as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in.
As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.
The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking
cola bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with little sugary
chairs, and generally having a laugh.
After a while they get bored and walk out.
Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and
wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me."

"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are bloody menthol..."