bathing

[pamaddy]

i work shifts.I have recently found out that my husband leaves our todler who is 18months old, in the bath to get the telephone etc. he says it is only for seconds and goes straight back in. I have shown total disaproval at this and he says im been paranoid. Id like to know how other people feel

[smudge]

Young children left unattended in only a few inches of bath water & even for a short amount of time can drown!

I would ask your husband to ignore the phone when it rings & do 1471 afterwards - better safe than sorry!

Good luck.

[Drusilla]

I agree with Smudge. Babies and toddlers can drown in small quantities of water very quickly. I would suggest you invest in a cordless phone which your husband can take with him into the bathroom if he feels obliged to answer calls while bathing your child.

[wendilla]

I was going to suggest the same as Drusilla .and agree with smudge.my grandson who is 3 often has baths at my house when he stops and I invested in cordless phone solely for this.

[pamaddy]

Thanks for replying to my concern. Our phone is cordless so i cant improve things there.. The thing is, my husband is usually so safety concious that why he does this baffles me. He says it has only happened a few times when he thought it was me on the phone needing to speak to him!! He even ignores the phone throughout meals! He says he risk assesses then does whatever ie puts the towel in the other room ready, or gets the phone. (because the phone is cordless, it is only a matter of grabbing it then going back in to the bathroom.) I thought it could be me that was over reacting as my job is manager of a residential childrens home, (all of who have extreme special needs), and our standards of safety are so strict, we have 2 staff in bathrooms, and staff dont leave the childs side!! But i just want to get it through to him that todlers do get into their own mischief, with out us helping them. I just hope the comments i receive on answerbank will convince him its not me been over protective-or dramatic!

[smudge]

We have cordless phones all over our house, but there's never one nearby when you're in the bath!!!!

It was only last week that I was bathing our 3 & 6 year old Granddaughters & popped into the airing cupboard to fetch another robe. Within seconds I heard coughing & spluttering & rushed back in there to find the 3 year old gasping for breath. She had been showing the 6 year old how she could swim under water!

It's very easy to preach, but you just can't leave children even for a few seconds!

[curiosity]

In his defence, my other half is exactly the same, I agree with you, I too have been called paranoid!! and I do admit because I work in an environment where risk is constantly assessed that I have wondered is it me? But this has always been outweighed by the risk that something just might happen! But I also think that because he, and the kids are far more competent & comfortable around water than I ever feel may also increase my anxiety. (I do swim etc but it's not my favourite passtime and probably only on holidays). However I don't care whose the paranoid one I still totally disapprove, and she's 5 years old!

[nfn]

if your fella places the phone just outside the door and can hear your toddler happily playing (and making usual baby chat) for the 5 seconds it takes to answer the phone then what's the problem? I wouldn't have left my son for much more than 5 seconds at that age but now he's 6 (and I've done this for a while now) he bathes by himself as long as we can still have a conversation, he tells me if he's going 'underwater' so I can go in with him

[kick3m0n]

it is just NOT worth the risk. His "risk assessment" is all very well but if something were to happen to your lo, your hubby would never forgive himself. Accidents happen, that's why they're called accidents. Putting our cordless phone in the bathroom is part of our pre bath prep when running the bath, getting towels organised etc - it's hardly difficult after all, so how dim do you have to be not to manage that?? If it only takes seconds to go and grab it during bath, it'd take seconds to put it there before bath. No excuse for this, you're not being paranoid just sensible. I think him calling you paranoid is him being defensive cos he knows really it's undefensible to leave a small child in the bath alone.

[andy-hughes]

I can't imagine that any phone call is that important that anyone would compromise the safety of a child to answer it.

The bathroom is a dangerous place - the child could stand upo, slip, bang his head, and die in the time it takes to leave the room.

If your husband is so obsessed with answering the phone, then he has a problem. He needs to think seriusly about his approach to parenthood.

[tigerthecat]

Well there isn't anyone here to defend him. To add my tuppence worth I was a research interviewer a few years ago looking at the kinds of accidents that under 5s have and yes there were a few of them that were 'older' tha 18 months who had been resucitated by neighbours/parents paramedics when they had been left briefly. It isn't worth the risk.

[snook]

If he places answering the phone above his child's safety, there's something seriously wrong with his thought processes. Or to put it bluntly, he's daft as a brush. You MUST make him rethink this. A parent can never take risks like this, even if he thinks it's paranoid to think this way.

Ask him how he'd feel if something happened to the baby - would he regret taking that phone call? Or would he consider it had been an acceptable risk, in the light of the consequences? Imagine facing life knowing that taking a blo0dy phone call had cost your baby's life - hardly bears thinking about.

You have my sympathies. Have a word with him, urgently.

[gedk]

My son is also 18 months old and I would never leave him unattended in the bath even though he is sitting in a safety seat. We have a cordless phone and if I have forgotton to take it into the bathroom with me and the phone rings then I ignore it. No phone call is more important than my son's safety it's as simple as that really. If I was you I would tell your husband that unless he stopped leaving your child alone in a dangerous situation then he shouldn't be allowed to bathe him. Show him these replies and maybe he will realise how foolish he is being.

[jtamom]

A "few seconds" is all it takes for something to happen. You should tell him to think about how sorry he would be if he was wrong. Maybe he will be willing to at least humor you if he thought about what the consequences could be.

[kobe]

Don't let him bath your toddler - Ban him from this one activity - to show him how concerned you are - does he really want to attend a funeral - He must see this is so very dangerous and an act of seconds that could haunt him for the rest of his life - He is showing you that his dinner is more important than his child - I don't really think he means to but that is how he is coming accross he must by made aware of this - This is not the actions of a good parent - Strong words I know but this is a powerfull subject

[pamaddy]

Thanks to everyone who replied. Since i posted my concern we have had discussions and it wont happen again. My husband, however, has pointed out to me that i am not perfect, and we can all learn as we go about our lives. Thankyou again.

[wee_angel]

If he has to answer the fone can he not wrap baby up and take he/she with him?

[tigerthecat]

good to see your husband has come to his senses and accepting responsibility whilst telling you, your not perfect mmmm.... If you are putting your child in the same amount of danger I think he should comment otherwise he should do the right thing accept he is wrong and not do it ever again.