smacking?

[sonofthunder]

i smack my son (not hit) on the rare occassion he wont listen and he's out of control............i believe this is an act of love................most people were smacked when younger and respect that.....people who dont respect that, were probably hit?............but having said that i do recognise the abuse thing

[Fat Boy]

Oh God, here we go again.

1. If smacking isn't hitting then WTF is it?


2. If you believe physically hurting a child - your own child - is an act of love, you have some issues to work through


3. I was hit when I was a child & as a result I have zero respect for my parents and anyone else that hits children


4. My father stopped hitting me the day I was big enough to hit him back


5. If you have a problem with someone you work with, would you smack them? If not how come it's different for a small defenceless child?


6. If smacking works, how come you have to keep on doing it?

[nannon]

i was smacked (hit) as a child and would never smack my kids (when i have them!!!!) The occasions where it was literally a slap on the hand, or on the arm was fine but a proper smack i dont agree with at all. My baby nephew has never been smacked he was once shouted at very loudly and tapped (and i mean tapped) on the hand so if he is naughty all we have to say is "give me your hand" and he knows to stop whatever it is he is doing. I imagine it was the shock and scareiness (that may not be a word...) of being shouted at that he associates with it. And now when your kids are naughty it may be the case that they will not respond to anything but a smack which could be a spiral downwards the older they get. With all the new rules about child abuse and violence (i'm not accusing you of these btw!) i dont see why parents risk it - there are som many other ways to show disipline. Your kids will respect you more in the future, i think, if you stop snacking them. If they ever hit you back you cant really hold it against them - thats what you have taught them!

[ronnie963]

i was smacked as a child and it did me no harm i have three boys but do not smack them only because i,ve never needed too but if it came down to it and they need a good wallop on the ar*e they would get it but saying that i think my eldist two(10+12) are to old for a smack now so i must have done a good job

[noxlumos]

I don't believe in smacking kids (was beaten stupid repeatedly as a child) and because I have always communicated with my children and respected them as individuals I've never seen a scenario where they have been out of control excepting my elder son who is deaf and went through a period of immense frustration. That was dealt with by support and by communication and resolved itself by him learning to control his kneejerk reactions which in my opinion is preferable to hitting him and making him even more upset and angry.

[sonofthunder]

i would never hit/ beat my son with an uncontrolled anger.......smacking has be with us from day one...........since its stopped through do-gooders we have a even more violent aggressive undisciplined generation

[tigerthecat]

Good one Fat boy. Perhaps my colleagues would respect me if I hit them?

[cliffsdoll]

i must admit i have smacked my children aged 13 and 15 when they were small, no more than 4 or 5 times but have always felt guilty later, i know its wrong and i think we do it cos wer'e angry and lose cotrol, its much better and safer to give them time out or take away their treats instead.

[curiosity]

I think I know what you are trying to say. I have three kids, and do not agree with smacking as a systematic form of punishment to discipline kids, this is harsh. Neither do I think that random "clips round the ear" I have seen in the supermarkets (some heavy handed clips I think) for general displays of boredom/frustration are on either. I have however smacked on a couple of occasions my kids when they were younger and I did feel guilty afterwards, but it was at times when I perceived they were uncontrollable and needed controlling instantly to avoid hurting themselves or were near a road etc. Having said that, that's what I perceived, I could have also been more angry, more tired and less patient on those occasions, because I'm sure there's been more than a couple of occasions when they needed controlling and I didn't smack.

[sonofthunder]

fat boy ........smacking is'nt hitting.............smacking is done with love - hitting is done with uncontrollable anger..........perhaps the latter has given you an unbalanced view

[Fat Boy]

You say I have an unbalanced view yet you sit there & pretend that the reason you hurt your child is because you 'love' them? Christ knows what would happen if you didn't love them.

And of course smacking is hitting. My parents smacked me. They didn't punch me, they didn't kick me, they didn't horse-whip me, they smacked me. In other words, they hit me. Maybe you don't use fists or go kung-fu on your child but it's still violence. Smacking still hurts and is the last (& sadly, often the first) resort of weak parents.

Ask yourself two questions.

1. What would you say to your child if he smacked someone at school because they couldn't get their own way?


2. Is it OK for another adult to hit you if you didn't do what they wanted? If not, please explain to us the difference.

[noxlumos]

sonof, I actually think that if you are hit as a child you end up with a very balanced view indeed. I resent the inmplication that you consider those of us unlucky enough to have had abusive parents to be "unbalanced".

We have a very sharp perception thank you very much of the damage any violence from parent to child does. Smacking is not done with love, smacking is violence. If you don't agree I don't really care, but please don't get on your high horse and try to imply that the victims of parents who think violence is acceptable are somehow flawed or confused in some way and don't really undertand what you are doing because it's just a bit beyond our damaged little minds. We know, we just don't agree with what you do. I for one think someone smug enough to say smacking is "done with love" is in need of psychiatric help and will live to rue the day with their children they ever behaved as you do.

If you don't hit/smack in anger then you hit/smack coldy having given it careful consideration which is even more worrying quite frankly.Such sadism can't be "done in love" whatever you may wish to think.

[dancealot13]

Wow, some very strong and passionate opinions. I was hit as a child, never smacked across the face though, but if me and my sisters were bad and not listening we would get spanked. Personally I support it, but I also see why people are against it. But I definetly respected my parents for it. My sisters and I never would talk back, or act inappropriatly. In return we were always brought everywere with my parents because they never had to worry about us behaiving poorly.

I see most children now-a-days, swear and talk back to their parents. It's quite rediculous. That new TV show, "Super Nanny". I think she has some fantastic ideas no how to handle your children when they are acting up (without hitting). I watch it often, but I must say, sometimes those kids just need a whack on the a**. I definetly think smacking is hitting no matter how you look at it.

[Elfin]

sonofthunder, just carry on as you are, do what you think is right at the time and don't worry about it.

"Small defenceless" children do not have equal rights with their parents. The reasons for this are blatantly obvious. The parent has all the responsibility and the child has none.

Anyone trying to draw a parallel between the parent/child relationship and (as stated above) colleague to colleague or even child to child are so far off the mark, they are the ones who need educating.

[soapbox]

Surely all children are as individual as their parents. This being said, then a single smacking is good /bad philosophy cannot be applied to all children, as it is down to the individual�s circumstances.

By �smack� I mean using an open-hand where the SOUND of the smack is the main deterrent. I DO NOT mean punching and kicking, using belts, shoes or canes or any other means of inflicting excruciating pain.

To those who cannot differentiate between a smack and a punch may I suggest that you visit your local boxing /martial arts centre to become better educated.

[sonofthunder]

well said soapbox

[twinny_15]

I smacked my four children when they were small... all adults now and are very loving well balanced and respectful .. better than a lot of kids who are not reprimanded these days

[Gef]

The usual mix of answers. Yet again I will state that a quick smack never did me (or anybody else) any harm.

[Oneeyedvic]

I love the "If smacking works, how come you have to keep on doing it?"

What a load of rubbish. - just as ludicous as saying "IF saying NO works, how come you have to keep on doing it?"

May as well support anarchy. Just let your kids do what they want whenever they want.

After all, once you have said NO once, there is little point in saying it again is there?

I was smacked as a child and concur with Gef .

Shockingly the majority of adult males aged over 40 were SMACKED by their parents / teachers / policemen and funnily enough the vast majority of these people are balanced, well adjusted human beings who do not go around attacking other people.

To compare the way a child is treated to the way an adult is treated is quite frightening and if people can't differentiate, I suggest that they start campaigning to let children drive / vote / smoke etc.

[pinkflamingo]

STOP smacking your son he's a person and you cannot abuse him this way.

As an adult of instance would you like it if someone were to slap you on the leg or hand and cause you pain when you made a mistake or did something wrong.

I have 5 children and have never smacked them not even a tap, it's very wrong.

[little coojy]

i must admit i smacked my child once and felt so guilty afterwards i cried, i grew up when if a child was crying or having a tantrum it was often said give them somthing to cry about, they were crying about somthing its just that there was no communication to find out why, talking and explaining can do a lot better than smacking it just takes a bit more time and paitance, but arn't they worth that, no child is perfect even if there parents seem to think so, everyone has to learn, but if you just hit them when they do wrong all they feel is pain and not the reason it was wrong.