access to my daughter

[highlander77]

I seperated from my ex-partner in November last year. Lately she has become very difficult about access and has also stopped my daughter phoning me. My daughter is being huert because my ex has decided to punish me. I have a new house and she wants the address. I am only prepared to give this if I get absolute assurance that I will get to see my daughter. In the past I have been abused physically by her and another member of her family. This is why I do not wish to give out my address or home phone number. I just want to get on with life and more importantly see my daughter. Is there anyone going thru the same out there or can give me advice on the next practical step?

[Sequin]

Consult a solicitor

[PinkFizz]

yes,we are going thru the same thing and you must see a solicitoe.Also.FNF give very good advice on their website and newspaper.

[drambuie]

When my ex left he wouldn,t give his address due to his girlfriend's wishes. I

[drambuie]

Oops not sure what happened there ! Solicitor advised me not to send a 12 year old to whereabouts unknown. My ex had unlimited access to son and it just mean,t he had to come over here. Eventually the address was given and i,m pleased to say he spends holidays and weekends with his father. You are entitled not to give your address and resolve the access issues another way for your daughter. Good luck x

[highlander77]

Thanks for the feedback so far. I think its more of a punishment exercise. Rather than just an address. Probably more hurdles to follow, just have to wait and see!!
Already got solicitors, they say that they must explore every avenue before court action can be taken,again just have to wait and see!!

[Schlomo78]

Whatever you do make sure that your daughter knows you are still there for her and love her. Me and my partner had the same problem a few months ago and it still happens occasionally,when ex hasa bee in her bonnet about something he sometimes doesn't get to speak to his daughter for 3 wks or more, the first time she stopped him from seeing her and he threatened to take her to court to get proper access sorted out and she relented. Your ex, like my partners is using your daughter to punish you as you say, she may even be telling your daughter you don't want to talk to her,etc. When we went through this we made sure my partner sent her a card and a letter every wk, even sending her a writing set with the envelopes pre addressed and stamped so she could write back and just post it herself if she wanted. We used recorded delivery so we could track the card and make sure it had been delivered so she couldn't make out that nothing had been sent and kept the stubs to show his daughter when he did finally see her to prove that if she hadn't received anything at least she could she he had been trying to keep contact.
Don't give up, she is obviously a very selfish woman who cares about getting you upset rather than letting her daughter have the stability she needs, as other people have said-consult the CAB or a solicitor and if you don't have parental responsibility then look into it and apply for it, then she will have to think twice about emotionally blackmailing you!!
Good luck! :o)

[Schlomo78]

Oops,just read your last post about having been to a solicitor...also I was presuming your daughter was of an age when she can read and write, if she isn't I guess what I've written is pretty obsolete...the good luck still stands tho!

[highlander77]

schlomo, Thanks she can read and write(9). What you have written has given me food for thought and i will definately take your advice on the writing kit. We love each other very much and i will not give up on her. She is my world. All the best for the future. Scotsman.

[Schlomo78]

No probs, hope it all works out for you. :O)

[highlander77]

all the best to you as well.nice to meet a sensible person at last. Enjoy life and I hope it is fruiful 4 u.

[Schlomo78]

Highlander, did you work it out? I hope you got it all sorted with your little girl
xx