my son

[mnko]

I'm concerned about my son. He will be 4 in september and we have just been on holiday. we had an ok time but anytime we went for something to eat he kicked off, made excuses that he needed the toilet ran around the resterant just did anything so we had to leave. he had everything he wanted within reason. if we were doing things he wanted to do he was happy but as soon as the attension was not on him he miss behaved. Our daughter who is 18 months is starting to copy everything he does. We interact with him as much as we can. he is a very bright child. we dont let him drink coke or anything with 2 much suger in as this makes him 10 times worse. we were thinking he might have ADD but dont want to lable him with a condition for his behaviour. He has started lying when you ask him a simple question. Can anyone help!!??

[kate1976]

Maybe talk to your GP as surely there are tests to diagnose ADHD or similar problems!

As for what you can do in the meantime, ignore if bad, praise if good! So when he starts get down to his level and explain that he can't behave in the way he does as it isn't good behaviour and then ignore him, he will probably scream, rant & rave but let him have his tantrum alone, he'll soon get over it! When he's good, praise him and maybe get him a treat or just kisses and cuddles, he should soon figure out that being good is better because he gets attention!

[kate1976]

Attention either bad or good is still attention so that's why you should do your best to ignore when he's being misbehaved!

He may also be pushing the boundaries, kids of that age like to do that so just be patient and use the praise/ignore technique, it's worked for a few of my friends!

Good luck and I hope he calms down soon!

Had to do 2 posts as the site doesn't like long answers at the moment does it?!

[yinyang]

Did this behaviour just happen on holiday or is he like this all the time?if all the time, has he always been like this or is it a recent change to his behaviour?
If it was just for the holiday maybe he just felt unsettled by the heat or change of routine. Maybe he just liked the fact that mum and dad were there all day every day and wanted to make sure he got as much of your attention as possible.As Kate said, attention doesn't have to be positive.
Does he usually go to nursery? If so , have they expressed any concerns about his behaviour?
Sorry for all the questions,mnko- just trying to get the bigger picture. X

[smithy5271]

hi, if you ask me id say to you,dont worry about it too much, he sounds like a little boy to me, dont we all enjoy attention, but on a more serious note you dont want that behaviour everyy time your out, its best to stay calm and talk slowly to your child but dont always work that way a,i have a great health visitor who i can see if i have any concerns

[mnko]

its got worse since playschool finished. we allow for missing his friends and that interaction. he's behaving like this all the time but on holiday it got alot worse. my wife does'nt like him out of our sight but he just goes off and does'nt realise the dangers, my mother noticed a difference in him as she is in england and we live in ireland. he also was hitting me while visiting his great grandmother. i proceeded to sit him on the floor and tell him he's being bold (naughty) which did'nt work he carried on doing it.

[yinyang]

If you feel that there has been a noticable change for the worst in his behaviour over the last wee while, then you should talk to your health visitor Not neccesarily with the purpose of getting him ' labelled' with anything but he/she may be able to give you some advice on dealing with it.
Different things work for different kids but as Kate said do try to reward the good, ignore the bad. Also make sure both parents are working as a team and are consistent in your discipline.
Good luck and best wishes to you.X

[curiosity]

My friend has just come back from a Disneyland Paris holiday with a 5/6 year old son, and him & his wife were puzzled by their sons behaviour, even though the lad enjoyed himself and was never bored, he was totally out of character in the restaurants climbing on chairs and running about. They came up with the conclusion that he was basically being spoon fed entertainment and didn't have a lot of time to imagine,think for himself, play & physically expand energy & have to entertain himself at certain times of the day, as he would usually do. Hope this helps.

[dancecaller]

You say that certain foods make it worse, maybe theres some allergy there, to additives or something.
You would be eating differently on holiday, maybe.
We had a boy at playgroup who had this problem.
The mother had found a diet that worked for him.She became our biscuit buyer so that everyone ate something suitable, brought his own drink (as milk was a problem for him), and his own food at party time. Deciding which school to choose was a problem as not everyone is sympathetic.
Not all medics see this in the same way either so I don't know how you find out. Health visitor first perhaps

[daniel123]

I consulted a professional who told me to consider the time out technique and also reward charts. The reward chart worked very well, rewarding my son with a sticker for good behaviour. He adds the sticker to his chart and when he gets a certain number he gets a reward, often a new toy or a trip out to somewhere that he wants to go. As i said this did work for my child so might be worth a try? I bought my reward chart and stickers online from the website: http://www.thenaughtyseat.co.uk.