points of view request.

[imajenarry]

things have changed a bit for my boyfriend and I over the past year.gone from rented flat to buying a house and we've had a baby this year.things are pretty good with 1 exception.my partner has a thing for going out friday nights-every friday night.don't mind too much but just wish it wasn't so regular.had endless talks bout it and we have more than once come to conclusion that he should maybe stay in the odd friday for a change but then it never happens.starting to become quite a sticking point.am i making a big deal about nothing?it's a bit financial and a bit about spending time together.i think it bothers me partly cos we talked about it when i was pregnant and he said he would cut it down a bit once baby was here and it never happened.what do people think?

[noxlumos]

Well absolutely every Friday that comes along might be a bit too frequent sine it's obviously bothering you. Do you go out on your own at all or as a couple? I got out a LOT in the evenings ( part business, part winding down) and it drove my first wife into jealous hissy fits wheras my second doesn't mind a bit, but then she is also free to go out and we also go out as a couple a lot. I don't think he's unreasonable in wanting one night per week off, but maybe that shouldn't necessarily be alone, maybe you should go with him or at least get some time to yourself off as well, as the baby is littlish and bound to be a lot of hard work. Despite your talks and agreements it's obvious that his Fridays really matter to him so if he's still intractable you'll either have to be more assertive and risk it developing into a regular row ( which really erodes a marriage quicker then anything) or accept that it's just something that he does.If he ok in all other areas I'd question how important this is to you, if he's lax then the whole thing needs an overhaul.

[TEAK36]

If you live together, what wrong with spending time together the remaining 6 nights of the week.Surely your bf is entitled to go out one night a week. If it is a financial thing, and you cant really afford it, then that a completely differeny matter and you need to discuss it further with your bf, but if money is not the problem, then why would you want to stop your bf going out one night a week.As long as he does not come home out of his head each week, then wheres the harm.

[B00]

Agree with TEAK here, I genuinely don't see a problem with him spending time away for a few hours once a week with his mates. Just make sure you do exactly the same to him once a week!

Ya never know he might come round to your way of thinking after a few weeks of 'your time'.

[888sally888]

I agree - start going out sometimes too - maybe one Friday for him the next for you. Maybe he will change his mind - make sure you look FAB when you go out!! Hee hee!!

[imajenarry]

my best friend suggested the same thing boo i should go out every saturday night. may help make him see my point but wouldn't really help with finances and then we would hardly see each other all weekend.i've posted this on b&s too and getting real mixed views.it's a difficult one.think maybe will have to just put up with it even tho it bothers me.

[suzi-q]

I expect your partner finds going out a pleasant break from the responsbilities of being a dad and partner. I wonder what would happen if you backed off and stopped worrying about it and just let him go. Grit your teeth and pretend it doesnt bother you one bit.

Maybe you could invite your girlfriends round that night or take your baby over to your mums or something, making it a pleasant evening for yourself also.

Also make sure that you have a break at least once a week too. Even if you dont want to go to the pub or whatever, why not go for a relaxing swim, sauna or whatever you enjoy doing. Make a point of it being your "me" time so that he can see that you also need your space away from him and the babe.

I would try not to make to big a deal of it all but turn the tables just slightly - he may just decide that his Fridays aren't so important after all. But if not, then c'est la vie - at least you will have your own space to look forward to as well.