help with home education

[mimififi]

Hi there,

This is my 5th year of home educating. My son, who is 8 has never been to school, but is now adamant that he wants to go. I know the main reasons why he wants to. He is one of 5 children, the others are all girls and I know that he wants to spend more time playing with lads. I also know that he thinks that the grass is greener and he always complains about working when we are at home. I think he thinks that he will be doing less in school!! He would be in year 4.

the problem I have is that I also have a 4 year old who was at playschool which is on the same site as the school and she sees all the children in te reception year doing cool stuff (which incidentally we do do at home) and she wants to go. I don't have an issue with reception and infants in general as they are just an extension of kindergarten and I don't start hard core work until the kids are about 7 anyway.

So, my dilemma is do I now change my idealogy and go down the school route. I feel as though I would have failed in educating my son as he wants to go to school. He is very bright and is ahead in many subjects, though he handwriting is poor. I worry that he will be badly behaved or argue with the teacher or just generally be naughty in school. I am in a real scruple here as to what to do. The situation will be worse if I send my daughter in to reception also as he will be even more resentful.

My eldest daughter loves home ed and never wants to go to school. The other two are still under five.

Anyone out there home educate that can give me some wisdom? Have I failed him?

cheers
:-(

[mycats]

Of course you havent failed him! You have done more for your children than a lot of parents.
If he wants to go to school, maybe you could talk to the school and arrange for him to go for a trial period?

[mimififi]

That's a good idea, I hadn't thought of that. That might work well for both us and the school.

Thanks for that mycats.

still makes me feel a bit down though.

[divegirl]

I read somewhere that some schools will allow children that are home taught to attend mainstream school on a part-time basis....not sure where I read it though, but it could be worth looking into.

Lisa x

[noxlumos]

Hello Mimi, As you know we home educate and I think if he has even a little taste of school he'll realised which side his bread has been buttered these years. It went the other way with us, we withdrew our kids from schools because we were very unhappy so our kids already had the experience of school and really didn't enjoy it. Our daughter whose 8 has never been to school, and if she ever had to I'd cringe at the thought of the arguments she'd have with teaching staff as she's very independant and wouldn't entertain things like school uniform and would constantly question the need for things ( you know the sort of daft rules some schools are so keen on). We had a junior school behind where we used to live and we were taking some jumble there for the jumble sale just as the kids were coming in from break. The teacher blew a whistle and all the kids stopped, then she blew it again and they all lined up, then she blew it again and they all marched in. My daughter wryly observed to the teacher concerned that "you teach sheepdogs like that".
I've noticed a lot of home educated children are constant questioners and free thinkers and wonder if your son would integrate well into being in a "herd".
If you could get say a months trial it might be an idea, but personally I'd have a really good talk with him and see if he's still dead set on it. If he just weants to play with lads, maybe you could enrol him into some blokey type after school clubs first and see if that does the trick.Either way you've not let him down at all, he;s gothis ow ideas because that's what homed Ed is all about, so in a roundabout way it's actually a success that he's questioning being home educated.

[mimififi]

the integration into a 'herd' system is what is bothering me most. I have rules and idealogies at home, but the emphasis is on child centered learning. I am concerned that the school may view him as 'badly behaved'. He is VERY argumentative and it is one thing that is making home ed a bit gruelling if i'm honest: his constant arguing and us fighting because he doesn't see why he has to do his work.... In lots of ways I think school will either be the making of him, or turn him into a delinquent; I don't think there will be much middle ground.

He is very much his own person and I don't think I would have to worry about him being a victim of any type. I hadn't thought of it your way round though: if he chooses school for himself, he will have to make it work, so I guess you could look at it that way round and think that I have taught him to question before making a choice.

Thank you so much for replying all of you. We are meeting the head this week to chat to her and look round to see if there is anything that is a screaming no-no, so would appreciate prayers.

And, Nox, thank you for replying, I did so hope you would. Thanks.

love
mimi
X

[Clanad]

We've discussed some of this previously, mimi...as I mentioned earlier, our youngest daughter has home schooled all of her children (4) with great results. The State in which they reside even has provisions for the kids to participate in all the extra-curricular activities available to the public shool students. In your case, I would advise doing what our's did with one of the children... she enrolled the youngest girl in a private (Christian) school. this offers some control of content and teaching methods but also provides a classroom setting to help the child evaluate "group" studies. I realize there's additional expense involved, and perhaps no such school available, but it's a thought that has worked quite well in our case...

[mimififi]

Hi Clanad, thanks for your response.

I am glad to know that there are other people out there who had the same decisions to face. It feels strange to think of having a child home educating, and one state schooling....

I have looked around for an ACE school as we use ACE at home (your daughter may have heard of it actually as it's a state side christian program) but sadly the nearest one from me is in winchester which is a day's drive away! However, the school we are looking at, although a state one, is a church funded school and the head is a Christian also which is what attracts us. They seem to do very well also with literacy in particular writing which is his worst area. His maths and science is good.

I hope to speak with her on friday, so we will see what we see. I just want to be obedient to my calling as a parent.

Thanks again for all your answers. I am really appreciative.

love
mimi
X

[Pippa68]

As you know mimififi I have been thinking about home ed myself ~ but not taken the plunge as yet!

Others here are far more qualified to give you advice, but I just wanted to tell you that in no way, shape or form have you failed your son! you have given him, and your other children, the best you can give and a brilliant start in life. To be honest I reckon we all have these feelings and have to make decisions based on what our kids want to do all the time...whether it's education, friends they choose, places they go etc etc. it's blimmin hard and tugs at the heart strings all the time :o(

Wishing you all the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. The part time idea sounds great..your son will then decide what he enjoys the most, and how much he is getting out of both situations. xx

[sunflower68]

mimifif I know you asked for replies from home educators but I cannot help my curiosity. Why are you so against putting him in school? What on earth will he do which could be so bad?
Schools do stream kids - my 8 year old is very bright too and is put in the appropriate class; he may feel the need to mix with his own gender peers. He needs to socialise . I am afraid I fail to see how you will fail him.. Is school, then, for failures?

[mimififi]

sunflower, no, I don't think school is for failures, but school does teach a highly systematic and often narrow style of learning. Such is the necessity for teacing large numbers simultaneously. The most effective learning occurs on one to one teaching.

I opted to home educate my children so that they be bar from peer pressure (which does happen regardless of any school however good or bad) and also so that he can follow his own learning path, learn in his own way and follow his own interests.

I am an ex teacher myself, so i am in by no means anti-school, it is just not what I had desired for my children.

He does socialise already in the form of outside activites and many sports clubs. He is by no stretch of anyone's imagination unsocialised.

I realise that schools stream, but the streaming system is largely flawed in my opinion in many ways which time/space does not allow for expansion on here.

Thanks for your response, it's nice to know that you are having such a positive time at school. It helps me to rest a bit easier
:-)

[sunflower68]

thanks mimififi, and it's interesting to hear about a different way of teaching; I understand your point. Good luck with your dilemma : )