i just cant cope!

[kitten_uk2]

my son has just turned 3, and we have just returned from our annuel hoilday, which i enjoyed to an extent.
the thing is our son seems to be over active and i got to the point where i didnt want to be round him anymore.
i love him to bits but i just cant cope with his tantrums and have to have eyes ears and mouth on him all the time. just feel like i want my life back again. its just getting too much. im a working mum, im 27 and married. is it wrong of me to feel like this. i just wanna cry.

[confused79]

its not bad to feel like this, many of us feel we cannot cope.
I would suggest you go and see your doctor, dont see it as you are weak or anything because i know this may be what you are feeling, i did.
I had other issues going on tooi went to doc's and had councelling.
It is a phase he is going through and i know where you are coming from, sometimes it feels like a battle with him, like he is then enemy does it?
Do you take him like to any toddler groups to be around other children?
I thought the same of my youngest and it was getting me down but when the reaslised there were chidlren a lot more hard to handle and i was lucky he was healthy and a growing boy.
Do you go out atal? try to get help from family i.e grandparents to babysit maybe to get out, you still should have a social life and be yourself as well as a mummy.

[sleepy1]

oh poor you i know how you feel .dont be to hard on your self my son was a night mare from the age of one .he was in to everything , every where we went he would run of he has no fear whats so ever so i had to watch him all time he would think nothing of clmbing a big tree at 4 years of age .i was so stressed out no wonder i never cracked up . i always thought some thing was wrong coz i had another boy 3 years older he was no problem whats so ever .i thought he would grow out of it a calm down when he was at school they kept moaning to me about him being naughty i asked them do you think he has adhd they said no coz some times he is ok .. he went to a big school at 11 guess what ? school said yes he had problems in class took him to doc and got sent to see a adhd doc yes he has very bad adhd and is now on tablets which do help a lot but he can still be very naughty from time to time he is 13 now . i felt like a really bad mother having a naughty child but as my older boy was no problem i now understand why so im not to blame .........ask for help with him wish i did years ago good luck

[kitten_uk2]

my life is basically work and my kid, my hubby works nghts and sleeps during day so we dont get much time together.
i long for another baby with my hubby ,as first wasnt planned and it would be nice to do all the lets try for a baby bit. but my son puts me off wanting anymore children because he exhausts me. today i booked him into a nursery, which starts sept. so hopefully then things will be better. i dont have me time because we dont really have anyone to babysit for us

[sleepy1]

well if i had my second child first no way would i of had any more .he was such hard work and still can be

[confused79]

Ah thats a shame about babysitters, do you have any friend with kids, yuo may be able to share babysitting, say you have there child one week and arrange so they can babysit for you, its a chance to get time to yourself away from work and away from being a mummy for a bit.
I now it keeps me sane.
I work full time and have 3 of my own children and one step son and i feel like i cant go on sometimes and it gets me down.
It must be hard you are your partner working different times like that, that may add to you feeling this way? Do you feel like yu dont get much support?
It may get better when he is at nursery as he will be aroudn other children, it did calm my step son down i think more so because he wasn't the centre of attention as he was before at home with his dad all day.

[yinyang]

You're not alone! We're three weeks into the summer holidays and my 2 five year olds have had me in tears today.
Things is, they're not actually badly behaved - just a bit intense and demanding;' mum,can you read me this book;mum will you play this with me ;mum can you open this,mum we don't like this cd, mum can i sit beside you; mum once you've finished reading that book to her can you read this one to me; mum;mum;mum..... well, you get the idea.
It's just cabin fever. The weather has been crap,I don't drive, there is nobody else that can take them and we're all just fed up. I just want to go for a walk and my own pace, listen to one of my favourite cd's uninterrupted and just have even one hour where nobody asks me to do anything.
I feel like a crap mum sometimes and a rubbish wife too because poor husband keeps coming home to a frazzled wife and barely has time to get washed and changed before i throw the children at him and sprint upstairs. I feel like I'm kind of losing track of who I am.
Anyway, hope you've managed to glean something useful from this rant i.e we all feel like this sometimes. I certainly feel better for letting it out.

[sleepy1]

my kids just broke up from school today so 6 weeks to look forwards to :)

[annie0000]

I have two very active boys, so I know what you mean, we all get like that sometimes - I have found the best remedy always is to get outside - even if it is wet. Most of the people in the estate that we live on knew us before we knew anybody else as we were always out and about either running round the estate, on scooters or bikes or other ride ons - rain or shine. Ths had two purposes. It is harder to go over the top when you get angry when you are out in public and also because fresh air and exercise are essential to tire out and calm down active kids. It is only when the kids started school and we started to get to know people that everyone would say - Oh we used to see you out all the time chasing those boys round - you all looked so healthy! One mother was very surprised after having one of the boys round that he actually enjoyed sitting down and playing lego as she was so used to seeing him haring about that she thought that he would wreak havoc in her house. In the absence of getting out, we went to soft play, or even turned up the music and danced about. The exercise and music relieves the tension.

Actually spending more time playing with him actually improves his behaviour as well - as much as you want to stay away from him when he is playing up, actually putting some music on and having a boogy with him will get you both laughing and he will behave all the better for it. At the moment, you are getiing wound up by his behaviour, he sees that he gets a reaction so keeps doing it - change the mood and the beahviour should change as well. Good Luck and keep smiling.

[Le Chat]

kitten, my youngest son is 3 and after the dreadful holiday we endured with him last year, we decided to give the family holiday a miss this year! (Fortunately, my husband and I got away to Spain on our own for a week!!) He is a very lively boy, who never, ever is still. I work in a Beauty Salon and customers bring in their 2 and 3 yr old children, who sit and wait for their mothers to have maybe a pedicure or a set of nails done. (1 hour!!) Last year at my eldest sons school church service, one of the mothers brought her 2 youngest aged 2 and 3 and they sat still and quiet for 2 hours!! This is just not the story of my life but as jealous as I may feel of those with compliant children, I just know that time will mature the little guy and I can't change a thing!
During the summer hols, I look after my 2 boys and my 2 nieces, so that's 4 kids aged 10,8,6 and 3 ! I often feel that I just can't go on and am exhausted! What keeps me going is that I tend to find that if they all have a good run out (especially the boys) then they are a lot calmer and satisfied afterwards. (like they're little doggies!) The thought of the remaining 7 weeks though is tough to take, so I'm mentally taking one day at a time. I know sometimes I will feel suicidal and sometimes I will feel ok. One thing for sure though, is time doesn't stop and soon it will be September. Horray!!
Have a good cry and know that all those who have responded can empathise and sympathise. Hope this helps a bit!!

[sleepy1]

i feel bad to wishing they are back at school when this should be a great time to spend with the kids ... hard work

[tazz]

sleepy1 what r the signs 4 adah? i have probs with my 3yr old. when he havin a tantrum he doesn`t seem to calm down just cries n gets worse. he gets really angry when hes having a tantrum to. theres just no controllin him sometimes when he gets like this

[sleepy1]

http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm have a look at this hope it helps ..

[sleepy1]

one thing i have been lucky with he has always been a good sleeper

[bubblegum-31]

no kitten its not wrong of you to feel like this at all, all mothers go through down stages with their children especially when they are going through the toddler tantrums, i have four children my eldest is 10 and my youngest is almost 3 and the youngest is definately the hardest to cope with at the moment she just goes mental when she cant get her own way, ive learnt that if i totally ignore her when she starts a tantrum then she eventually gets bored of it and realises im not gonna give in, i wish you all the best and hope your spirits are lifted soon take care x

[taperface]

Well I'm sorry folks, but reading down all these posts, anyone'd think that you DON'T want your kids around. No one ever said it was going to be easy. You Do get tired, you Do get stressed, but if you love your kids, it's no sacrifice at all. I've brought up two kids on my own - one with ADHD, one disabled in another way. No - i didn't put my child on drugs or leave them with other people just to get a break for myself. I've done the job properly & now have two fine kids to be proud of. If you're depressed - see the doctor - but it soundds like some of you shouldnt've had a family at all!

[kitten_uk2]

i supose some people cope fine with bringing up kids and all the hard bits inbetween. some other people including myself just find it hard and a struggle. but thats life. and of course its not all like that. there is happy times too.
but adding on from my original question. things have calmed down. we are spending more time together and im wearing him out at the park. plus he starts nursery in sept, which i cant wait. will do him world of good and me too.