8 month old night waking

[gem_35]

my 8 month old daughter has slept 12 hours a night since she was 12 weeks old, for the past 6 nights i have been putting her to bed at 10pm as usual but she is really unsettled although asleep, she wakes every hour crying, as soon as i pick her up she is fine and falls asleep again within a minute or two but as soon as i put her back in her cot she is awake again within 5 mins crying. ahe does this until around 2am when she refuses to settle at all. when she finally settles back to sleep again she sleeps throgh again until 9am. when she wakes during the night she isnt hungry, got wind etc she just wants me. im going out of mind trying to find an explanation as to why this is happening!! nothing has changed at home so im really stuck and sooo tired! wondered if anyone had any suggestions as to how to stop this happening? or why?

[jack daniels]

is she warm enough?
Has she had a good feed BEFORE going to bed?
The more you go to her & pick her up, she'll do it knowing that she's going to be picked up.
She could be waking from dreams.
Try putting something of yours in the cot with her that smells of you - careful not to endanger her though.
Cruel to be kind - let her cry everytime she wakes up & cry herslef to sleep again.
Possibly now it's time to put her in her own room

[gem_35]

i will try putting my top in her cot with her, i tried leaving her last night but she wasnt having any of it. i know i need to be cruel to be kind but its even harder at stupid times of the night. i would love to put her in her own room but i live in 1bed flat at mo. so hard. she is in bed now but who knows how long before she wakes and wants me. going to try sending her dad in instead of me! thanks for replyin tho

[jack daniels]

Hi Gem
You're lucky she was sleeping for 12 hours from 12 weeks of age! - you've been spoilt & now she's waking up!
Sorry I've not helped much but she can probably sense you and her dad in the room especially if you're trying to move around as quietly as you can, the slightest noise, door opening, the light (even if it is on the stairs) can disturb her.
We had this problem (above) with junior JD years ago but we used to give him a dummy & he'd wake up every time it fell out of his mouth (5 mins - 15mins) - soon stopped giving that to him (3 nights of forcing myself & feeling guilty of not attending to him and letting him cry himself to sleep)

[tigwig]

I would definitely put her in her own room and I would bring forward her bedtime too. 10pm is late for a baby of that age to go to bed and you need your own space on an evening. Does she have any comforters like a dummy or special teddy or blanket? If not I would personally recommend something. My daughter who is now 3 does have a dummy and 2 special teddies and had done since a few months old and whenever she wakes she feels out for the teddy and it soothes her. She has always been a brilliant sleeper. Your baby has probably being 'trained' to wake up by you constantly picking her up (I know you haven't done this on purpose) Babies need to learn the vital skill of falling asleep on their own and how to do this when they have woken in the night. The only way they learn this is to give them the chance! You need to start with a bedtime routine of bath, bottle and bed no later than 8pm I would say and put your daughter down in her own room, maybe have a lightshow or mobile too and leave her to fall asleep on her own. Whenever she wakes you can either be tough and leave her to cry, she will fall asleep eventually and the crying will lessen as time goes on or if you can't bear to do that go in stroke her cheek and let her know your their but don't talk or pick her up. Just tuck her in again, kiss her and leave and keep repeating this leaving the time you go in longer each time, ie, leave her to cry for 5 mins to start with then 10 and 20 so on. It will be hard at first but it will get easier and soon she will be sleeping through, you will have taught her how to. Just stay strong and calm and stick with it. Good luck!

[pink-kittens]

Let her cry herself to sleep? How cruel!

I would suggest an earlier bed time as well, with a set routine like tigwig has suggested.

I am what is known as an attachment parenter. I have never allowed my children to cry themselves to sleep and in fact, research is showing that it could cause long term damage
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0 ,6903,1345420,00.html

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05319/606752.st m
The second link explains that Dr Ferber, the founder of crying our or controlled crying has now retracted his advice as being wrong.

If this presents itself as a long term 'problem' can I suggest the No Cry Sleep Solution? You can probably get a copy of it in the library but it suggest many different and gentle methods of sleep training

Best of luck

[gem_35]

10pm to put my baby to bed is what suits me, i didnt ask for anyones opinion on bedtime for my daughter. i am quite offended by tigwig!

[tigwig]

well I never meant to offend you! Of course this is my personal opinion because I enjoy my time on an evening with my husband! I am not trying to tell you what to do but will you still be having a 10.00pm bedtime for your daughter when she is 4or 5 and at school? Even at the age of 2 or 3 she is likely to become very tired through the day with going to bed so late. It took me a long time to type my answer I was trying to help you and offer advice, is this not what you asked for? Feel completely free to ignore my advice although I am a qualified nursery nurse with 15 years experience and have never had problems with my own daughters sleeping. Next time I won't bother, if you don't want other's advice, don't ask for it

[ethanryan]

i agree with tigwig i think that is late for bedtime. my two boys are 1 and 2 and are both asleep by half 7, then it is time for me and there dad to catch up on the days events.
no one is judging you just offering there advice

[gem_35]

tigwig! yes i did want advice or i would not post on here! i was offended by the 1st post, the 2nd post from you you said how you didnt mean to offend but you are very rude in the 2nd post. if that is not offensive then i dont know what is. going to leave it at taht now. i didnt want people to judge me on what time i put my daughter to bed, just some advice on night time waking!

[tigwig]

I didn't judge you merely gave my personal opinion and I did give you plenty of advice on night time waking it is of course up to you what you do, I really don't care. I know that my daughter will be in bed by 7.30 and doesn't get up until around 9.00 the next morning if she isn't at school. If you followed my advice and stuck to it you would probably have the same luxury

[newtron]

We adopted an 18 month old girl about three months ago. In the beginning we had the same problem that you describe. We decided to check her when she woke up to make sure that she did not need her diaper changed. If she was fine, we would let her cry herself to sleep. She never cried for more than 20 minutes. She would usually only cry for about 10 or 15 minutes before going to sleep. When she started crying, I would start timing her. We decided that if she cried for more than 30 minutes we would pick her up and try to figure out why she was crying. We never had to do this. After a few days of this, she stopped crying when she woke up. These days, she is usually still awake when we put her to bed. She usually just hangs out and sings to herself and falls asleep on her own. She still wakes up every once in a while, but she does not cry. Instead, she again just plays around until she is ready to go back to sleep. It appears to us that she feels secure in her bed, and she knows that we are close by.