weeing at school

[eeyore84]

my 3 and 1/2 yaer old son will not stop wetting his trousers at nursery. he is only there for a couple of hours in the afternoon but i have to pack him up with spare clothes every day. he's not like this at home he will happily use the toilet. has anyone else had this problem or have any suggestions why he does it? thanks

[ladyalex]

He may not know where the toilets are, or how to ask to be taken to them in nursery. Or he may be afraid of them for some reason.
What do the nursery staff say ?

[eeyore84]

he knows where they are cos i take him as i drop him off. the staff say they think it is medical but if that was the case surely it wouldnt just happen at school. trouble is the staff arent allowed to go with them for legal reasons, even at 3 1/2 years old but there you go. so even when he makes it there he comes out dripping from playing with the taps unsupervised!!

[ethanryan]

hi i worked in a nursery with 3 and a half year olds. one of the teaching staff shouted at a child once for getting up from the table during snack time, even though the child needed the toilet. from then on the child wet themselfs often. i think this was through fear of being told off again. has your son been shouted at for some reasn which has scared him,.
i dont believe it is medical cause you would have the sane problem at home.
he may also be getting that involved in what he is doing that he is holding it untill it is too late.
maybe you could ask the teacher to remind him every half an hour to use the toilet.

[pink-kittens]

eeyore, the staff not being able to go with him for 'legal reasons' is absolute carp! Who told you this?

The only reason the staff would not be abel to accompany him to the loo is if they are not CRB checked

I would question this with the manager/supervisor and ask why? And ask them also to point you to the law that states they cannot attend to his toilet needs.

[andrea81]

I wouldn't be satisfied with the staffs answer. He's not doing it home so it's not medical (as you said).

It's their issue and if I were you I would ask for a meeting about it. Something could have happened!

[poohshunny]

Can I ask is this a private nursery or state run?

[pink-kittens]

makes no difference - staff can still attend to toilet needs

I'm quite annoyed for you OP

[eeyore84]

is is a primary school nursery so its state run. but surely all of the staff have to be CRB checked? he hasnt had any unpleasant experiences there that i know of, e.g being shouted at etc. but i guess you don't know everything that goes on when your not there.

[ethanryan]

hi please ask questions like you say you dont know what goes on. as for crb checks. i did my college placement in a state nursery 3 days a week and although i had my crb they never once asked for it. or even checked that i had one.
as for going to the toilet with children i was allowed to take them but wasnt allowed to take there trousers down but was allowed to stand at the door with them. if they are telling you that they cant take them then this may just be a case of they cant be bothered. what happens with the children that do have medical problems, do they have to fend for them selves aswell. i would get this double checked by other members of staff.

[pink-kittens]

Yes, eeyore, they should all have their CRB checks in place although you won't be able to view them (data protection). Sometimes though, if staff are new they could be working whilst CRB checks are in the post

I'm getting the same vibe as ethanryan - this is more a case of can't be bothered. If the staff are CRB checked there is no reason they cannot attend to ALL toilet needs from changing nappies to wiping bottoms to pulling trousers down to undoing buttons.

I would be seriously questioning why your son is not helped when he needs the loo

[aims1202]

If this is only happening at nursery and its happening every day then there must be something going on at nursery making him anxious. Going by the answer they have given you about not being able to take them to the toilet, i would be very concerned. It is not true, of course they can take them and always should, no child of that age should be left alone in a nursery setting. Often it is hard for children this age to express how they feel about things and something such as wetting when they have been previously dry is a sign something isnt right. I would ask them if you can stay with him for a bit at nursery so you can get a better idea of how the staff are with the children. it could be something that is easily changed if you find out what it is and the staff do change it, but it could be that it is not the right nursery for him and if so it is always best to take the child out and find another one.

[eeyore84]

i will take your advice and ask to stay with him for a while, maybe that will make things clearer, other than that i might book an appointment to speak with the headmaster and ask some questons regarding why he cant be taken to the toilet, thanks for all your help and advice x

[ethanryan]

hi was just wondering if you have managed to get to the bottom of the problem with your son?