single mum and dating

[yummymummy08]

Well... I'm 19 and I'm a single mum, have a little boy who is 4 months old. Things went very messy with his Dad and we split when I was 3 months pregnant so I've been on my own a while now and have totally lost all confidence regarding men. There is someone that I genuinely like but have no idea how he feels and don't feel like I could ever face another relationship. But, went out clubbing a few weeks ago and got with some random guy, didn't even find out his name. Have never been like this at all and now feel totally ****** which none of my friends understand but I don't feel like I should behave like this because I'm a mum now. However, has slightly boosted my confidence. Just don't know who I am anymore, feel like I've missed out on all my teenage years where that sort of thing was acceptable as I was in a pretty heavy relationship with my son's Dad by the time I was 15. Any thoughts?

[HJT40]

Ok. well I was a single mum from two months pregnant, but slightly older at 28. But I felt the same. I met someone when my daughter was 8 months old.

You do need a boosted confidence when you have gone through your pregnancy on your own, it is only natural. You are not just a mum, but a woman as well.

I may sound like a mum now but just make sure that you are sensible. Have fun, but make sure that you look after yourself and your son.

You may make mistakes, but be true to yourself and your son. Many times I have had to think hard about what I was about to do and still got it wrong.

Enjoy your adult time, but don't ever let it get in the way of you and your son.

If someone does pay you a compliment or make you feel good then you know they are right don't you? :-)

Enjoy!

[4getmenot]

dont go out looking someone will come to you. As for the bloke you like take it easy with him, if he feels the same time will tell. Don�t start sleeping around just because some of your friends do and are egging you on, you have got to feel comfortable with yourself first. xx

[yummymummy08]

no we didn't sleep together, i didn't want it to go that far, didn't feel right at all. no, didn't even find out his name. also i don't want to jepodise the possibility of something happening with the man i actually like. have other people found it hard to be confident when it came to a new sexual relationship after having a baby? to be honest the thought absolutely terrifies me, which is the main reason i am steering well clear of the man i like at the moment. is that normal?

[unhappychick]

Just because your a mum it doesnt mean you cant have fun, it sounds as if your torn between the role of mum and party girl, as long as your son is looked after well for the night your allowed to go and have fun WITHOUT feeling some form of guilt, lets face it us girls need our girlie nights out and theres nothing wrong in that! have fun and enjoy being a good mum...hope this helps!

[yummymummy08]

thanks everyone

[helliebobs]

yummymummy08, I can only echo what everyone else has already said, I'm older than you and split up with my husband when I was 8 months pregnant. My son is now 15 months old and i've just got in a relationship with someone recently. It was very hard as my confidence had hit rock bottom and I had the obvious trust issues. I was also not very impressed to find myself single as I didn't want to have to go out 'looking' for someone!
It will take a while for you to feel comfortable but once you go on a few dates, you will start to enjoy it. No need to have a serious relationship with every man you meet, concentrate on having fun and socialising again, that in itself will boost your confidence.

[Whoever]

Do you think you may be expecting too much of yourself to be successfuly back on the dating scene when your baby is only four months old? You're probably still suffering from hormonal inbalance and the all the upheaval that has happened in recent months. Concentrate on your little boy for a while and give your confidence a chance to recover and when you're feeling less physically and emotionally vulnerable you'll probably find it easier and more comfortable to relate to new people on your own terms.