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Meal times

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LeedsRhinos | 00:25 Fri 03rd Sep 2004 | Parenting
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Every dinner & tea time ends with us telling our 6 year old daughter over & over to eat her meal. It is becoming that meal times are not a very enjoyable time. Any advice? Thanks
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I found the best thing to do is put the meal in front of her if she doesnt eat it dont make a fuss, take it away and tell her that she doesnt get anything else. Try not to give her too many treats inbetween meals. Another thing you could try is getting her to help prepare a meal, let her decide what she wants and help her to make it. The more you fuss about it the more she will dig her heels in. trust me I have a fussy eater too. hope this helps....good luck p.s if in doubt a big stick always works lol
Sound advice there! Children often see meal times as an opportunity to assert themselves, and this behaviour is typical of that approach. Less is more - make as little fuss as possible, it's the attention and reaction she is seeking, remove that, and the exercise becomes pointless. Make sure you praise her when she eats her food, even if she doesn't finish. This is a phase, and she will grow out of it.
I have a 9 and a 5 year old. Both the above are good advice. One other thing is try serving up smaller portions. A huge plateful can be a bit daunting, so they don't even want to make a start on it. If it looks do-able, they're more inclined to have a go. Don't worry about not giving them enough. If by some miracle they finish it and ask for more you can always give them more.
Just to reinforce everyone elses answer - we had this problem with our child. He was using it as a way to seek attention. You need to break the pattern as it is becoming ingrained. We cut down portions (so he wasn't overwhelmed), involved him in laying the table/washing up, asked him what would he like in a closed way (two choices such as fish or pasta not free reign!), made him sit at the table until we had finished even if he hadn't (and no distractions such as TV, pets, music!) , ignored the whining and refusals and reinforced wih praise when he did eat and point blank refused to offer him anything else until the next meal time. (we did offer him cereal at bedtime if he had skipped two meals but this was a last resort) It paid off - we have a four year old who eats like a horse, loves fruit, vegetables and salad and doesn't over or under eat! Stick with it and good luck
I have an 8 year old son, try giving her mostly her favourite food with 1 veg or mash with beans instead of gravy. I did this with my son he'll eat anything other than cheese and love a roast. Does your daughter pick at everything or just doesnt like mealtimes???
We had a similar problem with our eldest daughter who is now seven. She had been such a good eater as a baby and toddler but reached a point where she found mealtimes boring and became less and less interested with what was on offer. To get around this , we involved her in mealtimes , from everything from the preparation to setting the table. We tried to pick dinners which appealed to her and which she could become involved with , such as pizza - she loves grating the cheese and applying the toppings - garlic bread and a healthy salad. Children who have helped to make the dinner are more likely to eat what you put down in front of them and it also gives them not only a pride in what they have done but a greater level of independance. Why not also "disguise" veg which doesn't normally go down well with your child by creating faces in mashed potato ? Something a bit out of the ordinary such as a funny face in their dinner can appeal to a young child because it's something different from the norm. Although this approach is normally reserved for younger children , your daughter may find mealtimes a bit stifling and may enjoy adding a little bit of fun to the whole experience. I try not to leave it open to my daughter by asking what she wants for dinner. I find that it works better to offer two choices so that she can pick one and refuse the other and I'm not waiting all day for a response ! I hope that this helps x
Absolutely agree with everyones advise. Another thing you could try, at least it will give you a starting point, can you arrange for her to have tea at a friends house. That way you can establish if its an attention thing or a possible eating problem. I think you will find she will be an angel at her friends!!!!
I was a pain along with my sister when I was younger and my mum made us sit at the table until we had eaten at least half of whatever was put in front of us. It sometimes lead to us sitting there until bedtime! In the end we usually gave in though. As a last resort try that, it worked for me. Now I wish I could eat just half a plate of food!!
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My 4 year old likes a good range of food but every couple of months she goes through a very strange phase of not eating. She'll come to the table for dinner and start up with "my elbow hurts" and all sorts of similar ailments! then she'll start trying to negotiate "I'll just eat 3 bits" etc. Then she'll start to gag and has even been sick on her plate! After a week or so of this it disappears and she eats with great gusto again. Has anyone else experienced this? We do all the things people have suggested, nothing in between meals, helping to cook/choose, ignore the bad behaviour, praise when she does eat etc etc. One last suggestion for your daughter is to make sure you are not providing a cabaret act for her; I have a friend who makes endless bribes and empty threats, distractions, persuasions and games to get her son to eat. He gets such a full-on show from his mum that it's no wonder he doesn't eat - she wouldn't be half so interesting if he just ate it up! Good luck

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